


Waiting for the light to go

by legallyblained



Category: Glee
Genre: Fosters AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 12:23:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4435331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legallyblained/pseuds/legallyblained
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine's family fosters a teenager who's had a rough time. Blaine is hesitant, but takes it upon himself to do all he can to protect his new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey, princess.”

The whisper made the hairs on the back of Kurt’s neck stand up. He could feel that huge body behind him, not touching him – not yet – but radiating heat in his direction.

“Go away.”

Karofsky stepped in front of him.

“That was rude. I’m just making a little lunch line conversation. There’s no need to be hostile.”

Kurt closed his eyes.

“I- I’m sorry.” He made himself as small as possible. He wanted to fold himself into a ball, disappear somehow, but he had to settle for hunching over his tray. “I don’t want to fight. Just go in front of me.”

A couple of months ago, he would have been angrier. He would have felt it bubble up in his stomach until he spat out something vicious and cutting – but he’d learned that it was useless in here. Fists beat words every time, and his fists could rarely do any damage.

“You don’t wanna fight?” There was a rumble around him, other boys jeering. “Oh, but Hummel, there’s not much else to do around here. I think my boys need some entertainment.”

Kurt’s eyes stung.

“Please. Just leave me alone.”

“Karofsky, maybe you should back off,” a voice muttered from behind him, “everybody just wants to eat, okay? This is too public.”

“You questioning me, Puckerman?”

“No, man, just- just get him later. In private. You can’t get this close to him out here.”

Something defensive flashed in David’s eyes.

“What are you trying to say? You think I wanna get up close and personal with him after hours?” He forced a laugh. “I bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Hummel?” Kurt didn’t respond, and Dave’s voice cracked when he spoke again. “Wouldn’t you?”

Kurt knew the fear in his voice a little too well. The fear of being found out. He had a feeling Dave would have a different coping mechanism to just hiding. Puck’s face was starting to show real concern, whereas Dave’s was just panic.

“Hey, man, chill. Leave the kid alone. He said we can go first, right? And it’s meatloaf. Just get something to eat.”

“You can’t fucking tell me what to do!”

One of the officers looked up.

“Boys! Get your food and sit down.”

“You wanna see close? I’ll show you how close I wanna get to the faggot.”

Kurt felt cold all over – screams, a fist coming at him, then blackness. Just some steady thumps to his cheek, then his shoulder, then a heavy one to his stomach before Dave was pulled away and he blacked out.

~

“Please, Julia, you know I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate.”

“I said no more, and now you’re giving me one fresh out of juvie?”

“He’s not violent. He barely even speaks. I’m telling you, he’s a good kid; he’s just had a lot of bad luck. He can’t stay in there, and another group home would just be a disaster. You could really help him. You’d probably be saving his life.”

“Alright, alright, you can stop manipulating me. I’m on my way.”

She pulled up to the centre to see Stuart waiting with a clipboard and a boy. He was 16, but he looked younger. His face was badly bruised. Stuart greeted her with a peck on the cheek.

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. And Kurt does too, right buddy?”

Kurt tried to nod, to say ‘thank you’ the way his mother taught him, but all he managed was a frightened stare. Julia smiled at him. It was so warm and kind, it ignited something in him he’d almost forgotten was there. His shoulders sagged with relief.

“Hi, Kurt. It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Julia.” One corner of his mouth twitched. It would have to do. “That’s quite the battle scar you’ve got, honey. Did they put ice on it?” He nodded. “Well, I’ve got stuff at home that should help the bruising. I’ve just got to sign a few papers and we’ll get going; how does that sound?” Another nod. Julia had hoped the side of her that was desperate to help every stray that crossed her path would fade away as she got older and more cynical, but this boy made her stomach twist with an urge to whisk him away and rescue him. Julia felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. “Oh, that’ll be my husband. I couldn’t get a hold of him earlier. Give me a second?” 

Stuart nodded. “Come on, Kurt. Let’s get these papers together, make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Hey, honey, I’m glad you-”

“Give me the story.”

She paused. She’d have to lay it on as thickly as Stuart had if this was going to work. She couldn’t abandon that poor boy now, not when he’d looked at her like that.

“There’s a boy. He’s sixteen, had a really awful time, no parents, he’s been beaten up in Stonefield-”

“Stonefield? He’s been in juvie? Julia-”

“Look, he really doesn’t seem like a bad kid-”

“You’re already there, aren’t you? Have you already signed the papers? Enrolled him at school, built an extension on the house for him…”

“Robert, come on. It’s just for a couple of weeks, until they can find him somebody else. They just wanted someone they knew they could trust. It’s actually a huge compliment that they’ve asked.”

“Sure it is.” He sighed. He’d only just gotten used to the idea of stopping, of being permanent and stable for once, and now – now his wife just had to go and be the caring, wonderful woman he’d fallen in love with. She had an instinct for this. She wouldn’t take on more than they could handle. “So by a couple of weeks, I’m going to assume we’re talking a month. At least.”

“Probably.” She could tell he was coming around. “Darling, he needs us.”

“Okay. Okay, we’ll do it. I’ll go home now, make the place presentable. Should I pull the kids out early so I can explain?”

“No, no, just get Libby at the normal time, try to keep things as normal as possible. Leave her brother to me.”

He laughed.

“You know, he might not even notice he’s there.”

“Hilarious. He’ll be fine. Look, I’ve got to go sort this out. You sure it’s okay?”

“I’m sure. I trust you.”

She smiled.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too. See you tonight.”

~

“Dad! He’s home! Can I tell him?”

“No, Lib. I think I better do it.”

Libby rolled her eyes.

“Fine.” She ran to the door anyway. “Hi Blaine!”

“Woah!” Blaine said as his little sister wrapped her arms tightly around his middle. He bent down to kiss the top of her head. “Hey, munchkin. What’s got you all excited?”

She looked up at him, eyes wide.

“I’m not allowed to tell you.”

He frowned and looked at his father.

“Dad? What’s going on?”

“Hey, Blaine. How was school?”

“Oh, fine. Nothing out of the ordinary. What do you need to tell me?” Robert paused, looking a little guilty. “No. No, Dad, you promised.”

“We’re getting a new foster brother! His name’s Kurt and he’s sixteen and Mom says he’s having a really hard time so we’re going to take care of him for a while. Isn’t that cool?”

“Blaine,” their father interrupted before Blaine could answer, “why don’t you go and get all your homework done before Kurt gets here?”

She looked between her father and her brother.

“Sorry, I wasn’t supposed to say anything. Am I in trouble?”

“No, baby, I just need to talk to Blaine for a minute.”

Blaine’s expression was blank.

“Yeah, Libby. Go upstairs.”

She did as she was told. Blaine turned to his father again.

“You have some explaining to do.”

Robert nodded to the living room, and Blaine led the way to the sofa.

“This is a one-off.”

“Isn’t it always a one-off? Didn’t you both say you weren’t going to take any more?”

“I know, I know, and we meant it, but- Blaine, there are millions of kids out there who have awful, awful lives, and we-”

“You just want to help, right? So what’s the deal with this one? Drug addict? Shoplifter?”

“Blaine, he’s gay. He’s been the target for a lot of homophobic bullying, and today he took a pretty serious beating. That’s why he can’t stay at Stonefield.”

“Why was he there in the first place?”

“He took a knife into school. The bullying got too much, and he wanted to defend himself. I can’t say I blame him.”

“Oh, great. A kid who carries weapons is coming to live with us. Can’t wait to meet him.”

“Come on, I’m being straight with you, Blaine. Total honesty at all times, right? Have we ever let anyone into this home who has put you or your sister in danger?”

He thought back over the different teenagers that had been in Coop’s room since he left. They’d been difficult, often angry and hurt, but he’d never felt unsafe. He looked at his parents, the wrinkles around their eyes, those comforting smiles – they’d always done so much for him and Libby. He’d been through his share of torment for being gay. Comments, funny looks, but overall he’d been lucky. His parents and friends were beyond supportive, and it wasn’t like that for everyone. He couldn’t deny the support his parents could offer to a boy who needed it.

“Okay. Until they can find him somewhere else.”

Robert grinned and hugged Blaine, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Thank you. I know we can do this. He needs us.”

~

The Anderson house welcomed Kurt Hummel at 6:14pm, with a roast dinner already on the table. He was immediately ambushed by a white, fluffy blob on the ground, jumping as high as his knees. It seemed to know not to jump any higher, and settled for hopping excitedly from side to side.

“I hope you’re not a vegetarian!” Robert called when he heard the door open.

“Oh. Um, no, it’s fine. It smells really good. Thank you.”

“Sorry, I should introduce myself properly. I’m Robert, that’s Libby setting the table beautifully-”

She ran over and hugged him. As hard as he tried not to, he flinched at the contact.

“Hi, Kurt! We made you a nice dinner for your first night here. You’re gonna sleep in my big brother Cooper’s room – except he doesn’t live here anymore, so it’s your room now really. Do you like lamb?”

Kurt nodded.

“Yeah. My mom used to make it on Sundays when I was little.”

Julia smiled. Even the shyest kids opened up with Libby. She rushed over to stop the dog from slobbering on Kurt. “Sorry – I forgot to ask if dogs were a problem if this thing could even count as a dog. Max mostly just sleeps and drools on stuff.”

Kurt forced a smile. The dog was a husky, so he was enormous, but the way his tongue lolled out of his mouth reassured Kurt that he probably wasn’t dangerous. He liked dogs anyway, as long as they didn’t bark too loudly near him.

“He’s fine.”

Libby carried on as if the family’s attention had never left her.

“And that’s Blaine, my other brother. He’s the same age as you so you’ll go to school with him. He’s gay too, so you can be friends.”

“Libby-”

“What? You are. Blaine, come say hi to Kurt.”

Blaine pulled himself away from the oven (he’d offered to cook) and waved at Kurt, still wearing an oven mitt. As soon as he saw Kurt’s face, his own smile disappeared.

“Gosh, that looks so painful. Does it hurt? Hey, we have some Arnica upstairs- Mom, can you take care of the food while I go get it?”

“Sure, sweetie. Kurt, are you hungry?”

Kurt wasn’t used to this kind of activity – there was so much buzz, movement, chatter, but without a single cruel voice or vicious glare. He was half expecting someone to shove him into a wall, but there were just gentle voices and an amazing smell. He half-shrugged, half-nodded.

“Mom, can we listen to music over dinner?”

“Taylor Swift’s still in the car, baby.”

“Oh. Never mind. Kurt, do you like Taylor Swift?”

“Um… I guess. I don’t really know.”

“I’ve got all her albums. We can listen to them some time if you want.”

Robert stroked Libby’s hair and smiled.

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to. Honey, why don’t we just let Kurt settle down for a second, huh? He’s still got his jacket on. Blaine?”

Blaine had reappeared at the bottom of the stairs.

“Why don’t you show Kurt his room while we dish up? Give him a little peace and quiet before this one interrogates him?”

Blaine grinned.

“Sure. Hey, I’ll take your bag. Just up here.”

Kurt was relieved to get away from the chaos for a second, and although Libby was sweet, there was something about Blaine that just made him feel a bit calmer. It was hardly surprising – after where he’d been, he would have been grateful for any kindness, never mind a family taking him in and giving him dinner – but Blaine had the same warm smile as his mother and his father’s smooth voice and the same sparkle in his eyes as Libby.

“So, this is your room for now.” The ‘for now’ stung a little. It was like a pinch in a dream, a tiny reminder that this, just like every other home he’d had the last few years, was temporary. “Make yourself at home. You know, unpack and stuff. I know it’s important to make it feel like – well, you know.” Kurt nodded.

“You must do this a lot. How many kids have been in here?”

Blaine sat on the bed, and Kurt copied him – making sure he left space between them.

“Oh, um… seven? Well, eight now. Cooper moved out when Libby was two, and it was a little too quiet for my parents, to be honest. He leaves a pretty huge gap whenever he goes.”

“Is he far away?”

Blaine nodded. “LA. He’s an _actor_ ;” he made his fingers into quotation marks, “I’ll show you his commercial some time.”

Kurt let out a little laugh. He looked so different when he smiled, less scared, even though the cut on his lip limited how much he could open his mouth without it hurting. “You hate it, don’t you?”

“What? No. I mean… he’s pretty embarrassing, but I respect him for chasing his dreams.”

“I didn’t mean your brother. This whole taking in strays thing. Must get annoying.”

His reflex was to say the usual sweet, comforting things: ‘Of course not;’ ‘we all just want to make sure you feel safe;’ ‘helping all these kids is its own reward;’ He was well-taught when it came to foster kids; he knew all the proper lines to recite. But for some reason, he didn’t say them this time. He did want Kurt to feel safe, to have less of that scared, nervous expression and more of the smile, but he also felt an urge to be honest with him. Maybe it was because of what they had in common.

“Sometimes. I mean, I worry about Libby. I think she should have more stability. I guess I wish it could just be us, you know?”

Kurt nodded. He remembered being ‘just us’, just him and his mom, and he would have given anything to go back to that.

“That’s fair. I’m sorry.”

“No, I didn’t mean you. They- they told me you’ve been bullied. For being gay.” Kurt’s back stiffened. That word usually meant something was about to get broken. Then he remembered Blaine was like him. “When Mom said we were getting another kid, I got pissed off, but- I wanted you to know it doesn’t have to be awful. If anything, Mom and Dad are too supportive. There’s always a supply of condoms in my nightstand, and I don’t put them there.”

Kurt was a little grateful for the damage done to his face – maybe it could mask his blush.

“Oh.”

“Oh, sorry. I probably shouldn’t talk about – have you ever known any other gay people before, Kurt?”

Kurt shook his head.

“No.”

“Well, you’re gonna love my friends. Do you think you’ll be up for school tomorrow?”

“Um, maybe. You don’t have to-” 

Blaine waved his hand. “Don’t worry about it. They’re even worse than my mom and dad for taking in newbies.”

“What are they like? Are they loud?”

Blaine’s broke out into a grin. It was so bizarre to Kurt, the idea that someone like him could be happy. Not just ‘looking forward to escaping’ way, but really happy. An accepting family, a group of friends, a real life – it seemed too good to be true.

“You could say that. Okay, this is super lame, so don’t judge me, but we’re… a choir. My whole friendship group formed through glee club. It’s so embarrassing, but that big bunch of losers is kind of everything to me.”

“Showchoir? You sing?”

Blaine’s face lit up, and he sat up a little straighter – he spoke as if he was embarrassed about it, but Kurt could tell he was more than a little proud of it.

“Oh, God, yeah. Singing, piano, guitar, all that. Some dancing, but it’s mostly just walking in different formations. You’re welcome to join us if you want.”

Kurt shook his head. He probably wouldn’t be here long enough to join any clubs, and the idea of standing up in front of a whole crowd of people scared him to death. He hadn’t really sung anything since his mother had died, anyway. “No thanks,” he mumbled, bringing a hand up to cover his face only to be reminded of how bruised it was. He hissed and Blaine winced.

“Shit, I forgot.” Kurt tensed. Blaine made a mental note not to swear around him. “Here-”

“Thanks.” Kurt took the tube of ointment from Blaine’s hand and went to the mirror on the wall to try and apply it himself. The lighting was terrible, his eye still wasn’t opening properly with the swelling, and he kept pressing too hard and fumbling with the cream. “Ow. Blaine, I- would you? I can’t really see what I’m doing.”

“Oh. Yeah, just- sit back down. Let me-”

Kurt passed the tube back to him and sat as still as he could while Blaine shifted closer and squeezed a small blob into his palm. The concern on his face, the worry about being too rough, was enough to make Kurt shut his eyes. He told himself he just didn’t want to get anything in his eye, but he just didn’t know how to cope with that level of worry, with someone caring about him again. He felt the cool of the gel on his cheekbone, but barely any pressure. He started to wonder if he was imagining the touch, when there was a slightly firmer one on his chin, holding him still. There was something soporific about the gentleness of Blaine’s hands; he could have curled up and fallen asleep right there. As Blaine’s fingertips soothed over his skin in circles, he found himself leaning towards him, his breathing slowing down and his body feeling heavier.

“Hmmmm…”

He opened his eyes as soon as he realised he was humming. Blaine was smiling at him, looking slightly embarrassed.

“I think I’ve covered it. Are you okay? Ready for dinner?”

“I… uh- yeah.” He could barely keep his eyes open. Somehow the idea of standing up seemed impossible. When Blaine stood up he took hold of his wrist to try and balance. “Um. Can I come down in, like, five minutes?”

Blaine smiled. “Sure. Hey, why don’t you lie down for a little bit? The food isn’t going anywhere.”

Kurt gave another little hum, this time in agreement rather than just comfort.

“Okay. Just for a little bit.” He toed his shoes off and shuffled further up the bed, resting the less bruised side of his face on the pillow. “Thanks, Blaine.”

Blaine just kept smiling as he watched Kurt fall asleep – it couldn’t have taken more than ten seconds, but Blaine could have stayed for hours. He looked so peaceful and small, even though Blaine knew he was taller than him; he couldn’t see how anyone would want to hurt him. The sight of his swollen lip and eye made Blaine’s insides clench uncomfortably. He picked up the blanket from the end of the bed and draped it over Kurt, who hunched his shoulders up and nuzzled into the pillows, humming again. It was light and soft, with a slight musical lilt – maybe New Directions wouldn’t be such a bad idea for him. Even if he didn’t want to sing, he could probably do with being part of a group. He’d have to warn Tana to be nice, but Rachel and Brittany would adore him.

As he watched Kurt sleep, he made a promise to himself – Kurt could stay here as long as needed- as long as possible. And Blaine was going to do everything he could to help him.


	2. Chapter 2

Libby's chatter filled the car as they drove to school. He had chosen to go in – he could have stayed home for the day, and Julia or Blaine or both would have stayed with him, but he didn't want to put them out. Even though the thought of being thrown into a new place with that many people terrified him, Blaine still managed to make him feel like it might all be okay.

"I still don't really understand why she wants us to paint a bunch of fields, and I don't know why we're not allowed to paint them pink, but I'm going to anyway."

"Sweetheart, she didn't say not pink, she just said not neon pink. She wants you to use paints, not highlighters."

Libby scoffed. "For an art teacher, she doesn't have a very good imagination. It's called- Blaine, what's it called?"

Blaine was almost too busy looking at Kurt (god, he looks so nervous, I wish I could help…) to hear her.

"What?"

"That word. For using different stuff for art."

"Oh, multimedia."

"Exactly. Multimedia. My artwork is a multimedia experience."

Julia smiled and squeezed her daughter's shoulder. "A lot of the greatest artists aren't appreciated in their time. Your day will come. Just make sure you don't yell at her this time."

Libby sighed. "I know, I have to assert my genius in a polite way in order to overthrow the man without the man realising." She said it like a mantra she'd been repeating for years, before going back to singing along to Out of the Woods.

Blaine leaned forward to catch Kurt's attention, which was currently focused on the bland Lima scenery.

"How are you feeling?"

Kurt gave a little smile and shrug. The bruise had gone down since yesterday, but it was still very clear that he'd taken a beating. He was so tense he could've snapped.

"Nervous. I just- it's fast. Lots of people."

"But they're good people. I promise. Especially my people – they're the best."

Kurt believed him.

A few hours later, he wasn't so sure.

He'd spent the first couple of periods getting a tour of the school and sitting in on a few classes with Blaine. They had the most beautiful Spanish teacher he'd ever seen, with gorgeous white teeth, and an enthusiastic history teacher who clearly knew precious little about history. Blaine told him that was the guy who ran glee club. The guidance counsellor was very sweet, and told him she was always happy to talk to him about anything he needed, and that her whole job was to make sure he was happy and safe. He definitely felt like he could trust her.

It turned out Julia was the vice principal of the school, hence his being allowed to join so quickly. He doubted there was a waiting list, but he still appreciated it. He and Blaine were in her office before History.

"So, Kurt, I'll drive you guys home at 4:30, as soon as Blaine is done with glee club. Feel free to hang out in here instead of going to that, if you want to read or study or do anything quiet. You won't get it done there."

Kurt shifted in his seat.

"Mom, I thought he might want to join us-"

She laughed. Kurt's eyes widened.

"Oh, I'm sure you've already offered, and Kurt may well be thinking about it. I just figured he should wait until after he's met them all before he commits to spending any extra time with them. Have a great day, both of you, and you know where I am if there's anything you need, okay?"

Kurt nodded. She wasn't what he expected. He was prepared for sympathy and sad looks, but she was brisk and matter-of-fact, and he liked it. It made him feel less fragile.

"Should I be scared?" he asked as they walked down the empty corridor to class.

Blaine laughed.

"Not really. They can be a little… intense? But they're harmless. Maybe don't sit with Santana just yet."

Kurt frowned, and stayed close to Blaine.

It was weird. Kurt normally didn't like this much noise around him; it often meant he hadn't hidden well enough and something was going to hurt soon. This was different. The tall blonde, Brittany, was playing an imaginary piano on his fingertips, and another girl was telling him about the wide variety of extra-curricular clubs at the school – of which she was apparently the captain of thirteen – and a boy asked him if he knew their friend, Puck, who was still in Stonefield. He explained that he'd tried to keep his head down in there, and they all seemed to understand.

"I guess too much attention in there gets you more than a slushie to the face," a boy (with the biggest mouth Kurt had ever seen) said.

"So, is Blaine taking care of you?" Santana asked. Kurt made sure he knew which one she was. "I bet he loves having a new boy toy to look after. Don't let him within three miles of you when he has a pot of gel in his hand, and if you wake up wearing a pink sequinned bowtie it's definitely his doing. He'll probably dress you in your sleep, like a nice, pretty pony." She gave his non-bruised cheek a gentle pinch. He could see why Blaine had worried about her, but Kurt knew was malice looked like, and this wasn't it. Besides, the way she looked at Brittany – she couldn't be all bad.

This had to be the gayest school in the mid-west.

"Now, if any of this is too much, we can totally leave early, okay?"

Kurt nodded, trying and trying to will himself to speak up, to thank Blaine and the others for inviting him, but the words stayed in his throat. He felt hands in his, and found himself being dragged to a chair by Tina and Rachel. He looked around for Blaine and sighed with relief when their eyes met. Blaine seemed to understand the signal immediately, and came to sit with him, nudging Tina down a seat.

"So," the incompetent but well-meaning history teacher began, "last week we started brainstorming ideas for sectionals, and I asked you to come back with some suggestions. Who'd like to go first?"

Kurt sat and watched in awe. Sure, it was all kind of cheesy, but these guys really cared about each other. They applauded the tone-deaf girl in the fur shawl, and cheered the tall, clumsy boy's attempt at dancing. This group shouldn't have worked; they were all from different tiers of the high school hierarchy, but they obviously adored each other. They danced and sang and gave Kurt big grins as he watched them. It had been such a long time since he'd been around this. Something in his chest ached as he remembered just how important music used to be to him.

"Blaine, didn't you say you'd planned a number?"

"Oh- oh, I don't, um- I don't know. I mean. I should probably…"

"Relax, sweet pea, we'll sit with Bo Peep over here and keep him safe."

Blaine glanced at Kurt as if to ask if it was okay for him to step about three metres away to sing a song. It was odd – he'd seemed so at ease and sure of himself, and he must have sung with the others countless times, but now he actually looked nervous. Did he not want Kurt to hear him sing? Was he scared? Embarrassed? Whatever it was, it was… endearing.

When he started singing, Blaine felt a little flushed. He'd been looking after Kurt since yesterday, showing him around and trying to make him feel safe, but now he was the vulnerable one. It was a big switch, and he always felt strange the first time he sang in front of someone, but as he warmed up, he saw Kurt watching him, his eyes lighting up. They locked for a moment, but something else caught Kurt's attention.

"Isn't he incredible?" Santana whispered, sarcasm gone from her voice. He nodded. Blaine's eyes were closed now, his forehead crinkled with concern, as if he'd written the song himself, as if he was living it, breathing it. When his eyes opened for a moment to look at Kurt again, Kurt was close to freezing with embarrassment until he felt something on his shoulder. It was Rachel, resting her head against him. Tina's hand had found its way into his. Blaine's performance was mesmerising, but not as intense as Kurt's sudden realisation that, for the first time in his life, he had friends.

Blaine had expected Kurt to conk out again as soon as they got home. It had been a long day, and he figured Kurt would probably be overwhelmed, like foster kids usually were for the first couple of weeks. During dinner he was quiet, letting Libby babble on as they ate. But afterwards, they washed up while Julia, Robert and Libby watched a movie, and it was like a switch flipped just for Blaine. Well. Blaine and the New Directions.

"God, Mercedes has the most stunning voice. I mean, I can see the appeal of Rachel, in a Broadway show kind of way, but she's got that extra soulful quality… and Tina and Quinn, they're more gentle but still beautiful. And is Brittany – is she always like that? She and Santana are together, right, I wasn't just imagining – oh, and Mike is the most amazing dancer! Did he take lessons? And Finn is so kind, like a big brother to everybody. Wow."

Blaine smiled.

"I thought you'd like them. And they adored you."

Kurt looked at him, glass and dishcloth in hand.

"Really? They didn't just think I was weird, sitting in the corner not saying anything?"

"I doubt you could've got a word in if you'd tried – but honestly, you're in. In fact, I think you may be stuck with them forever."

Kurt's smile changed. 'Forever' wasn't for him. This was all just 'for now'.

"Mmm."

They were both quiet for a while. The occasional clink of plates broke up the silence, along with the odd giggle from the next room.

Blaine's phone buzzed on the side. Despite knowing he shouldn't look, Kurt couldn't help seeing Sam's face pop up. "You can answer if you want to."

Blaine looked at the screen and shook his head. "It's probably nothing. Or he's asking about you. He can cope without me for an evening."

Then Kurt said without thinking it through over and over, without agonising over whether or not he should say it, "Then I guess he's stronger than I am." That was the moment Kurt decided maybe his anxiety was a good thing.

Excellent. Why don't you just cry on his shoulder for an hour, and maybe throw in a sad song as that's what he's into.

"I mean- I- I didn't… sorry."

Blaine tried to smile in a way that was reassuring without being condescending. He had a sneaking feeling he just looked constipated. Kurt didn't think so, but he was too busy wishing he could disappear into the ground.

Blaine put his hand over Kurt's. He heard a few washing-up bubbles popping in the sink, and felt the slipperiness of their soapy hands touching. Kurt looked at him like he was a superhero. Like he had all the answers. Like he really wanted him, needed him there.

"I'm being totally selfish. I just love washing dishes." And if he asks me to talk about you, I might never stop.

They finished up and decided to go upstairs rather than join the others mid-movie. Kurt gazed around Blaine's room, trying to take in all the little touches, the show choir certificates, the picture of him fencing, the books. So many books.

"I like… your stuff. I didn't know you were into fencing, and horses, and… wow." It was all rich people stuff. But Blaine didn't seem like a snob at all.

"Yeah, I used to. That was all when I went to Dalton – a private school in Westerville. It wasn't really my thing, but I like to remember I did it. And that I left."

"How come?"

"Well…" Blaine didn't want to tell him, but again couldn't help being honest with Kurt. "When Mom and Dad started fostering… we couldn't exactly afford to send every kid to private school. And I figured if they others couldn't go, it wasn't fair that I could. I still get to see all those guys at competitions, but now it all seems so frivolous." Kurt titled his head. "Pointless. Spending so much money on stuff they don't need. I'm happier at McKinley."

Kurt smiled. "And I think they're glad they have you."

Blaine smiled back. "I hope so."

"You must really like reading. I don't think I've ever seen this many books in one place before." They were crammed into every corner of the room, some just in piles on the desk and the floor, a few heavy-looking volumes up on top of the wardrobe.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Hey, do you want to borrow one? Or fifty? I'm not going to run out or anything, so you can take whatever you want."

Kurt's eyes darted to the floor instead of the books. He started to pick at the elbow of his sweater.

"I- I don't know…"

"Well, there's other stuff. Hey, my parents have got a bunch of magazines and stuff downstairs if you're not really in the mood for a lot of small print. Totally understandable. Hold on."

He ran out of the room, leaving Kurt startled and alone for a minute. He looked at the other photos around the room, so many of the whole family together. There was one of them at Christmas, Blaine playing the piano while everyone sang around him, one of what looked like a very young Blaine holding, Kurt assumed, a much younger baby Libby. Julia clutching both of her children close on a picnic blanket on a windy beach. They looked so happy and comfortable, so together. He'd forgotten what home looked like.

"So… which of my family members has inspired you the most? My dad has some stuff about cars, and Mom has her teacher's union newsletters and some other stuff about education, and there's some fashion, some celebrity gossip, a couple of Good Housekeeping magazines… you could just take the whole bunch and see what grabs you?"

Kurt smiled. "Great."

"Of course if you like horses and boybands there's some more in Libby's room, but she'll definitely know they're gone. She seems cute now, but she could probably make your other eye match the black one." He cringed. "Should I not have said that?"

As a smile bubbled up in his stomach only to be swallowed back down, Kurt wanted to thank him for talking to him like a normal person, not like he was made out of glass. He settled for "these are fine. Thank you, Blaine."

Blaine smiled and wished his hair wasn't gelled so he could run a hand through it, rather than have them both hanging awkwardly at his sides.

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth. I've got some homework and stuff to do before tomorrow. But if there's anything I can get for you-"

Kurt tried to think of something he could ask Blaine for, something to make him stay, but he came up short. Besides, he didn't want to make Blaine do any more – he'd already taken up too much of his time.

He shook his head. "Thanks."

Blaine wanted to reach out and touch him, hug him, anything to help, but something felt off. There were too many magazines. He shouldn't have let him do the dishes. Maybe his singing was terrible. He settled for a stilted smile and went to the bathroom, wondering what he'd done wrong and how he could fix it.

Kurt went to his (Cooper's?) bedroom, weighed down with at least a dozen magazines, and spread them out on the bed. It was Good Housekeeping that called out to him the most. He picked it up, gazing at the pink flowers arranged beautifully on the front. Camellias, that's what they were called, so elegant and soft, the ones his mother often had in a vase on the kitchen table. As he stared, he sank to the floor, flicking through the different homes, the different women and men showing them off, the pictures of food and happy people going for walks in the country, husbands and wives, children, dogs, beautifully decorated cakes and lavish dinners. Tears stung his eyes as he looked, an aching emptiness yawning in his chest.

Blaine walked past Kurt's room on his way to bed. He paused by the door, and heard the unmistakable sound of crying. Great idea, Blaine. Give the most mom-ish magazine in the world to the kid with no mom. Genius.

He knocked on the door. "Kurt," he started, staying behind the door even though it was open in case Kurt didn't want to be seen, "If you want to be left alone I understand, but… if you want a shoulder to cry on – just tell me if you want me in or out."

There was a long pause as Kurt wiped his nose. Blaine could see him cry, but not covered in snot. Not just yet.

"In. Please."

He'd barely got the words out before Blaine came in, closing the door quietly behind him, and sat next to him on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt," he whispered, laying a tentative hand on Kurt's back, unsure what level of contact he would be okay with. Kurt leaned into him immediately. He hugged the magazine close to his chest, sniffing hard, his voice jumping.

"I miss her, Blaine. I miss her so much."

"I know you do. It's okay. I'm here."

He pulled Kurt closer, giving him something real and solid to anchor him down, making him feel safer than he had in years. Kurt remembered that this, like everything else, would likely be gone soon, and he cried harder.

Robert, Julia and Libby came upstairs a few hours later. They heard a sniff from Kurt's room, and Julia started ushering Libby to her room.

"Mom, he might want me to go in. He's my friend."

"I know sweetheart, but we don't want to crowd him. You can talk to him tomorrow. Bed."

"I'm not even tired."

"Then maybe brushing your teeth with just exhaust you enough to help you sleep. Come on."

She glanced at Robert, who nodded to tell her it was fine. Her squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek before gently pushing the door open. He saw two boys on the floor: Kurt, asleep, cheeks striped with tears, head resting on Blaine's chest with Blaine's arms wrapped tightly around him. He saw some magazines on the bed and the floor, and tried to piece together what the hell had happened.

"You okay?" he whispered. Kurt was more or less asleep aside from the occasional whimper, but Blaine shrugged. His eyes had bags under them – who knew how long he'd been awake, just trying to soothe Kurt through whatever was happening.

"I don't want to wake him; could you pass me that blanket?" Robert did as he was asked, draping it over them both. He passed a couple of pillows down as well, knowing the floor couldn't be very comfortable. Blaine shifted as little as possible, slipping a cushion behind himself and one behind Kurt, and another underneath Kurt's head.

As Blaine tucked the blanket around Kurt, Robert nodded towards the bed – a silent offer to lift Kurt onto it so that Blaine could go back to his room, but Blaine shook his head. I can't bear to leave him, not tonight, not ever. Robert nodded, then kissed Blaine on the forehead. He smiled, but as soon as his father left the room his smile faded. He stroked the hair of the boy sleeping on his lap, occasionally twitching and sniffing as if he was still crying.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kurt. I promise."

The first thing Kurt felt when he woke up was a sharp pain in his neck. He would have yelled out, but he realised he wasn't alone in the room. He glanced up (ow, ow, ow) to see Blaine, whose lap he was apparently lying on, slumped against the wall, head lolled forward as he slept. There a tiny trail of drool at the corner of his mouth, and a shadow of stubble on his jaw, and the remains of yesterday's gel still in his hair. He would probably be in even more pain than Kurt when he woke up.

He's stayed here all night. I cried hysterically on him for hours and he didn't leave me. Maybe- maybe this time will be different.

He tried to force the thought out of his brain, but it wouldn't budge. Something about Blaine felt so… permanent. He moved slightly, trying to sit up, only to feel Blaine's hand squeezing his. He didn't even realise their fingers had been tangled together, but when he sat up Blaine frowned as if he had been on vigilant watch in case Kurt's hand moved once.

He got up, very slowly, nudging his pillow across so he could ease Blaine onto it. He adjusted the blanket so Blaine was covered, then without thinking he stroked Blaine's cheek with the back of his hand.

"Thank you, Blaine."

It was still dark outside. Kurt climbed into his own bed. He kept watching Blaine sleep as he drifted off again – he still looked worried, brow creased with concern. Kurt reached down and slipped his hand into Blaine's. Blaine hummed contentedly. The frown disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt cleared his throat quietly so he wouldn’t startle Julia. Max’s noisy breathing was enough of a warning that he was nearby – he’d started to follow Kurt around the house, as if he could tell the boy needed a big fluffy lump around him, just in case.

“Mrs…” she raised an eyebrow at him. “Julia – would you like a hand with dinner?”

Julia had been hoping he would ask. Blaine had told her to wait – “I think he really wants to fit into, like, a domestic setting. Do you think you could do some house stuff with him? Cooking maybe? He misses his mom, and a couple of nights ago I saw him- upset. But let him ask first. It’ll give him confidence if he asks for stuff.” She had noted that Blaine had been the one who was reluctant to take in a new kid, yet he was the one taking charge of his rehabilitation. “So? It’s… he’s nice. I want to help.” He just couldn’t bear the idea of him crying alone in his room when there was a family right here willing to take him in.

She smiled.

“That would be lovely, sweetheart. Here,” she passed him a wooden spoon, “keep stirring that. Make sure nothing sticks to the pan.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“Thank _you_ , Kurt. I’ll never say no to some help. I make sure everyone in this house pulls their weight.” She nodded to the chore wheel on the doorframe. “I guess helping me cook might keep your name off there for a little longer.”

Kurt’s heart leapt into his mouth. Something as simple and domestic and simple as a chore wheel shouldn’t have made him so nervous and excited, but he could have screamed. Surely that honour was only saved for long-term residents.

“That- I don’t mind helping. You can put me on if- I’d love- like to contribute. If that’s okay.”

She smiled. “It’s more than okay. Could you tell me how much flour I need for this?” Kurt froze. “The book’s right there; the list is over on the left…” She saw the look of terror on Kurt’s face, as if he could throw up or cry any second. “Kurt?”

“I… I can’t.”

“It’s okay, it’s just- oh. Oh, Kurt.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Darling, it’s fine. Have you… have you always struggled? With reading?”

He shrugged, swallowing and blinking hard so he wouldn’t break down.

“I… I just never- I changed schools a lot. Or just didn’t go. Then it was too late.”

Wiping her hands on a towel, Julia ducked to catch Kurt’s gaze which was firmly fixed on a floor tile. Shocking, just appalling that a child, even in care, could get to 16 without anybody even noticing… but that wasn’t important right now. She reached out to touch his elbow.

“Hey, look at me. It’s never too late. I’ve taught thousands of kids to read. I’ve got a whole high school at my disposal. We can work this out, I promise.” She’d lost count of the number of troubled kids she’d dealt with over the years of teaching and fostering, but despite making fun of Blaine before she really wished he could have been there. Although Kurt was growing more confident around her, she knew he was most at ease around Blaine. She gave his arm a gentle squeeze and stepped forward, her expression a silent request for consent to hug him. He nodded, stepping into her embrace. 

He was so small for his age.

She hugged a bit tighter.

Kurt sniffed. “Thank you,” he whispered into her ear, breathing in the soft scent of her perfume. He started to worry, about what people would think, about who would find out, about whether or not she would tell Blaine how stupid he was. But if anyone was going to help him feel like less of an idiot, it was probably Blaine.

Over the next few weeks, things started to settle down. Kurt had extra lessons after school to help with his literacy. He made fast progress – he didn’t struggle with any learning difficulties; he just slipped through the cracks while he was stuck in the care system. He got frustrated, but the teachers were kind and Blaine read with him in the evenings so that it was something he enjoyed rather than just a chore to push through to make everything else easier. Blaine was patient and gentle and didn’t mind helping him sound words out. Libby adored him, and Robert – Robert was one of the very few adult males around whom Kurt didn’t flinch. When Kurt didn’t have sessions with the English teacher or Miss Pilsbury, he would go along to glee club and watch the others perform, wide-eyed and awestruck. When he thought nobody was looking, Blaine would smile at him, relieved to see him so calm and comfortable.

Kurt’s name was added to the chore wheel.

He and Blaine became responsible for walking Max every evening. If they didn’t have any homework, they would often stay out with him for a couple of hours, talking about glee club and books and school. One Friday they were out together; Kurt had asked to go a little further to look for flowers to take home for Julia and Blaine knew a space near a brook that had plenty of flowers, and a bench that was perfect for watching the sunset. They must have been throwing a ball for Max for half an hour and he was showing no signs of tiring. Kurt threw it again, and Max lolloped after it, tripping over his own feet and leaving Kurt laughing until he was out of breath.

Blaine looked down at the flowers in his hand and back up at Kurt. He could barely remember a time when he didn’t laugh like that, sounding so at ease, and he didn’t want to remember it. He felt lucky to have been able to see this transformation up close. When he first met Kurt, he’d felt the urge to protect, to shield him from bad things, to help him in any way he could. But this boy – this happy, funny, confident boy – didn’t need as much protection. Maybe some nurturing and encouragement still, from time to time, but now that his face wasn’t bruised and he rarely clammed up around people, and never around Blaine… he felt different. As Max almost knocked himself out trying to race back to Kurt, Blaine watched the way Kurt played with him, ruffling his fur and telling him what a clever boy he was.

_He’s so pretty._

Blaine swallowed and sat down, trying to get a hold of himself. Kurt threw the ball again and sat next to him.

“You okay?”

With some effort, Blaine cleared his throat and nodded.

“Fine. Just looking at the sunset and everything. It’s beautiful.”

Kurt smiled and leaned closer to Blaine, resting his head on his shoulder. “Yeah, it’s lovely. Thanks for bringing me here. Do you think your mom will like the flowers?”

Blaine held them to his nose and inhaled deeply; the fragrance was soft and delicate, and the pinks and oranges complemented each other perfectly. “She’ll love them.”

“I just wanted to do something nice for her. After everything she’s done for me. All you of you have. You’ve been so incredible. Especially you, Blaine.” Blaine felt Kurt’s arm loop through his and squeeze gently. “If it hadn’t been for you, I- I don’t know what I would have done. Thank you.”

Blaine felt his heart speed up. Suddenly he felt too hot.

“Hey, anyone else would have done the same thing.”

Kurt nodded, knowing it wasn’t true.

“My mom would have loved this. Especially these,” he nodded to the flowers.

“Tell me about her.” He realised how demanding he sounded – “I mean, if you want to. I know you think about her a lot. I’d love to know what she was like.”

Kurt sat up and looked at him. “Really?” Blaine nodded. Kurt paused, looking at the view for a moment, the dog rolling in the grass, the bunny watching him in amusement, the ducks wandering near the stream. He didn’t know where to begin.

“It wasn’t her fault. The reading thing.” He hadn’t even realised he’d wanted to defend her so badly over this. “I don’t want you to think she… neglected me or anything. She told me stories all the time. She did voices and actions and she would fly me around the house on her shoulders and pretend to be a plane. And she always sang, in stories or to help me sleep or to get me to eat my dinner. I guess she thought books could wait. She could always make up a new world where everything felt magical and fun and safe.”

Blaine smiled. “She sounds amazing.”

Kurt sighed. “She was. She wasn’t perfect. She was always distracted. She used to call school and tell them I was sick, and she would just take me to the beach or to some field in the middle of nowhere for a picnic. Once she took me to a musical, like, flew us out to New York and got us tickets to a Broadway show. God knows how she got the money, but it was the most magical thing I’d ever seen. Maybe she wasn’t the most responsible adult, but she was great at playing. I miss that.”

“Well, feel free to play with Max and Libby as much as you want. Anything to tire them out.”

Kurt grinned.

“Thanks.”

“How did she… if you don’t mind me asking-” Kurt shook his head. He breathed slowly, his face changing from excited to sad- not crying, not breaking down. Just lonely.

“It’s okay. She- there was this man. Boyfriend I guess. He didn’t like me. He yelled at her a lot, and she would just take it. She tried to make sure I never saw it, shut me in my room, put some music on so I wouldn’t hear, but when I came out he would be gone and she would be quiet. I never saw any bruises, but I think- I think he hit her. Her smile changed after that.”

“I’m so sorry, Kurt. That must have been awful.”

He was still.

“I guess she couldn’t help herself when it came to him. He never touched me until the night it happened. He was screaming at her, and I ran out when I heard something smash. He’d thrown something at her. I remember she was crying, and there was blood and broken glass, and then he saw me and- it’s kind of a blur. He got angry and she got in the way. I used to see this therapist who tried to get me to remember exactly what happened, but- I got away, and she’s gone, and he’s in prison. That’s all that matters. I don’t think I want to remember any more. She was only twenty-three.”

“How old were you?”

“Six.”

Blaine sat in shocked silence. He put an arm around Kurt and clung tightly to him. Words weren’t enough. He kept picturing a tiny boy, sobbing, running alone in the middle of the night, fearing for his life. He wondered about Kurt’s father, if he even knew Kurt existed. He marvelled at Kurt’s bravery, at the very fact that he’d survived so much. His fist clenched at the thought of that awful man being anywhere near Kurt, being heartless enough to take a child’s parent away from him. There had been a girl, not much older than him, who had managed to raise a child alone, only to be killed.

“I’m so sorry.”

“It’s good that I can’t remember much of it, I guess.” He sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “I just try to remember what she was like before. I hope I can be like her.”

“You are.”

Max wandered over to them and sat on Kurt’s feet, panting up at them both cheerfully.

“In a way… I’m lucky. Most kids like me don’t get another chance like this. I didn’t have any family for so long and now it feels like I do. It might not be forever, but it’s more than I ever could have asked for.” Blaine looked at the boy next to him, noticed his slow breathing and his thoughtful stare straight ahead. “Blaine, I want to ask you something.”

“Anything.”

“Do you think it would be okay if I sang a song in glee club? I mean, I would need a lot of practice, and I have no idea what song I would do, and there’s no way I could dance, but would you mind helping me? I just- it makes me feel close to her. It helps.”

“Kurt, that’s- that’s so amazing. I’d be honoured.”

Kurt beamed and took a deep breath. Blaine looked at the flowers again, passing them over to Kurt so he could take them home. He wanted, more than anything, for this to be forever.

~

Kurt went to bed more or less straight away when they got home. He was tired, and he wanted to read before he went to sleep. He gave Blaine a long hug before he went upstairs, and as Julia smelled the flowers she had been given, she watched the two boys together. She noticed the way Blaine’s fingertips whitened when he hugged Kurt, and the way his eyes squeezed shut, the furrow in his brow as he clung to him.

She frowned.

She pressed a kiss to the side of Kurt’s head when she said goodnight, then she put a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, stopping him from staring up the stairs after Kurt.

“Honey, I think we need to have a talk.”

Confused, he sat on the couch with her.

“What’s wrong? Were we out too late?”

She shook her head, patting his wrist, wondering how to put this delicately.

“Kurt’s not like the other kids we’ve fostered, is he?”

“No. God, Mom, the stuff he’s been through… he’s so brave. It’s incredible. And I know I wasn’t on board at first, with having him here, but I think we’ve been really good for him. His reading’s getting better and better, and he wants to sing in glee club! Isn’t that great? He’s so much more confident than he was at first and everybody at school loves him, and he’s so great with Libby and-” he looked around the room to check he was right, “and Max is probably at the foot of his bed as we speak. We definitely did the right thing, taking him in. I’m sorry if I wasn’t as cooperative as I should have been.”

Julia put a hand on her son’s knee. He’d just confirmed exactly what she’d been thinking.

“Right. Look, Blaine, it isn’t that your father I don’t appreciate everything you’ve done for Kurt. It’s obvious that you care about him and that you’ve clearly had a very positive impact on his development.”

“Mom, you’re talking like a teacher. What’s wrong?”

“We’ve been talking about making Kurt’s place here more permanent.”

“Really? But… that’s a good thing. Why do I feel like I’m in trouble?”

“Honey, there are certain rules about foster kids. Specifically, foster-siblings. If, at some point, we started talking about adopting Kurt,” Blaine sat up a little straighter, excited by the idea but still cautious about the tone, “that would make you brothers.” Something about that felt off straight away. Kurt was his friend, probably his best friend, and he wanted him to have a family and a home, but the idea of calling him a brother seemed wrong. “And the way you feel about him may be… inappropriate.”

He shifted away from her and frowned.

“What does that mean?”

“Sweetheart, we know you would never intentionally do anything-”

“Mom, I swear we were just hanging out at the park. Nothing happened.”

“But you like him.”

It hadn’t even occurred to Blaine, hadn’t even crossed his mind (at least he’d tried not to let it), but as he failed to come up with a defence he realised she may have had a point.

“No, I don’t.” he replied weakly. For the last month, just the word ‘Kurt’ had been enough to give him butterflies. “I… I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“I know, baby. You’re so kind and helpful, and I like to think you get it from me. We probably should have realised that having two of the only gay teenage boys in Ohio under the same roof could have ended up with something happening.”

Then he really wanted to argue – that that wasn’t all it was, that Kurt wasn’t just the only option available, that he was so much more than that – but realised it really wouldn’t help him right now.

“So you want to adopt him?”

“It’s much too early to be talking about it that seriously. I just thought we should nip this in the bud before it gets worse. With everything he’s been through, he’s very vulnerable. I have to make sure he doesn’t get into anything he’s not ready to deal with.”

That got to him even more. Blaine knew, as of half an hour ago, exactly how much Kurt had been through. He couldn’t bear the idea that he might be taking advantage of him.

“Do you want me to stop talking to him?”

Julia smiled and brushed Blaine’s hair back where a strand had come loose.

“No, of course not. Just make sure you keep things platonic. You’re his foster-brother. You’re bros.”

“Okay, Mom.”

“Just pals. Buds.”

“I get it.”

“Just a couple of dudes, talking about beer and football and bro stuff.”

Blaine snorted.

"You know us both so well.” He took a deep breath. “If that’s enough ritual humiliation for one evening, I think I’ll go to bed. Night, Mom.”

She grinned.

“Night, sweetie. Love you.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his mother's warnings, Blaine starts behaving differently around Kurt, both because he knows he can't like him like that, and because now he's realised that he really, really does like him like that.

Blaine tried to spend a little less time with Kurt. He really tried.

He stayed in his room more, focusing on homework he didn’t have, reading books he couldn’t focus on, ‘helping’ Libby with work she was perfectly capable of doing alone, much to her annoyance. He suggested to her that she and Kurt read together, as their reading ages were a little closer, but immediately felt terrible for it. It was bound to be embarrassing for Kurt, knowing he was reading the same book as a nine-year-old. Fortunately he took it in his stride, and it seemed to boost his confidence even more having someone else ask him for help with words. Sometimes it took him a little longer to decipher them, but once he recognised a word, he almost always knew what it meant. But he still nudged Libby and told her to look in the dictionary rather than rely on him for answers.

Blaine overheard them together, and even though he knew it was good and that it was his idea, he found himself feeling jealous. He hit himself in the face with a pillow.

~

Kurt got a job. It was just at the local coffee shop, a few hours every Saturday. Blaine tried his best to see it as a good thing that Kurt would be busier, less likely to want to spend time with him. He even encouraged the girls to ask him to do stuff with them, under the guise of helping him find his feet socially. Blaine tried to spend more time with Sam, even though it meant listening to Star Wars fan fiction. He finally got into more of a routine, found different ways of avoiding Kurt. He hated it, but they still had classes and meals and glee club together. Blaine made sure they didn’t have too many one-on-one interactions, were rarely alone in a room together, and stopped himself from gazing longingly at him. Before he’d spoken to his mother, he hadn’t even consciously thought about Kurt like that, and now he was struggling to think of anything else.

After another day of successfully feigning nonchalance, he was just sitting at his desk doing non-imaginary homework for once, when there was a knock at his door.

“Yeah?” he asked, without looking away from his laptop.

Kurt came into the room, looking sheepish.

“Oh, you’re busy. It doesn’t matter.”

“No, Kurt-” _stop it stop it_ “you can come in. It can wait. You okay?”

Kurt frowned at him, his eyes narrow and suspicious.

“Are you mad at me?”

Blaine gaped silently for a moment. “What? No, no of course not, I-”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” Kurt asked, closing the door and walking in properly to sit on the bed. Blaine couldn’t help noticing the strength in his voice, his posture, getting surer of himself every day. “We’ve barely hung out for two weeks. McKinley and The Lima Bean, taxing enterprises though they are, aren’t keeping me so busy that I haven’t noticed. Have I done something?”

“No, you haven’t done anything.”

“Then you’re, what, just bored of me? I know I must’ve been a little clingy, but you could’ve just said something. You didn’t have to shut me out.”

“I haven’t been-”

“Blaine.”

Blaine rubbed at his eye with the heel of his hand.

“I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just been busy. And I thought it would be good for you to spend more time other people. I don’t want you to depend on me or anything.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Kurt grinned, “it’s not like I’m pining for you or anything. I just liked spending time with you. The girls are great, but kind of intense. Especially Rachel. I’ve never had to spend so much time looking for reindeer sweaters. I look forward to the day I have enough money to set a better clothing example for her.”

“Maybe it’s destiny that you two met. I think you’ll be good for her.”

“Maybe. But too much of her will definitely not be good for me.”

Blaine laughed. God, why was talking to Kurt just so easy?

“Okay. You’re here now. We are officially hanging out. How have you been, Kurt?”

“Well, I now have the reading age of a fifth-grader, which is very exciting. I’m officially beating your little sister.”

“Kurt, that’s still a huge improvement. Promise me you’re not being too hard on yourself.”

“I know. I promise. It’s just frustrating. I wish I’d said something to someone sooner, rather than just try to be invisible at every single school I went to. You get to a certain age and people just assume you can read, and it’s embarrassing. It’s easier to just pretend until you get moved again. Thank God for all my emotional difficulties.”

“Totally. So, what are you reading?”

“The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. Holocaust. Super fun.”

“Ouch. That book made me sob. If you want a real riot, by which I mean a complete emotional breakdown, you should read The Book Thief. I think I cried so much I went into a coma.”

“Is it long?”

“Yes. But it does have pictures.”

“Well, according to school’s projections I should be on normal people books in about a year. Maybe then. Maybe take off a couple of months for my already extensive vocabulary and books with illustrations.”

“Maybe.”

They smiled at each other.

“So, I’ve been trying and trying to think of songs to sing in glee, and Libby has suggested songs exclusively from 1989. Not that it’s not a great album, but I don’t know if I’m dedicated enough to Miss Swift to attempt to do justice to arguably her best work to date. And I am now familiar with literally all of it thanks to your sister.”

_‘Your’ sister. Not ‘ours’._

“Okay. Do you have a genre in mind?”

“Blaine, I haven’t exactly kept up to date with pop music. You hold my life in your hands.”

Blaine had officially given up on trying not to care. Kurt’s energy was infectious. Not being friends with him wasn’t an option. Best friends. But that was definitely it.

They spent hours flicking through Blaine’s iTunes library, playing songs from a range of genres, testing Kurt’s range, practising some breathing exercises. By the time they’d landed on a selection, they were both exhausted but exhilarated. Singing eliminated any and all tension between them. Blaine had always felt more connected to people when he sang with them, that was why he was so close to every in glee club, but this was something stronger. Their voices just fit, and Kurt seemed to love every song Blaine played for him. He accompanied him on his keyboard, adjusting the key when necessary, staring at him helplessly when his voice slid so easily into higher registers. Blaine had never been able to hit notes like that, and Kurt had never even had any kind of training. It was stunning to hear, and to watch as he came alive, as if he had been aching to do this for years. He probably really had.

“Oh my god, Blaine! I love it. I love this. I’d forgotten how fun it is. Do I sound okay?”

Blaine felt like he was floating. He’d never heard anyone sound like that before. Kurt’s voice was like liquid, like silk, like magic. He had to shake himself back into focus.

“Okay? Oh, yeah, I think that should be just about acceptable. Wow, Kurt.” He got up and grabbed Kurt into a hug, the first hug they’d had in weeks. “They’re going to love it, they’re going to love you, they don’t even have a choice, you’re so beautiful, I could just-”

They both froze.

Oh no.

Kurt pulled back, looking confused.

“Thanks? Is something wrong? You’ve gone weird. Are you going to freeze me out again?”

“No. I’m fine. You’re just. Amazing. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Blaine, it may be hard to believe but I don’t think anybody has ever called my voice beautiful before.”

Not just your voice, you idiot, YOU.

“They want to adopt you.”

“Blaine, they’re a glee club, I don’t think they have that authority.”

“No, Kurt. My parents. They want to be your parents.”

Blaine had not given his mouth permission to say those words. What the hell was it playing at? Kurt sat on the bed with a thud, staring ahead in disbelief.

“Really?” His voice was cracking. “Even with all the crying?”

Blaine nodded, figuring there was no going back now.

“You like it here, right? You like living here, you like my parents, and my sister, and- you like this?”

Kurt gripped onto Blaine’s comforter, squeezing it until his fingers turned white, nodding slowly.

He was the happiest he’d ever been. This was all he had ever wanted. He had two parents who loved him, a little sister who was sweet and fun and who actually seemed to look up to him, and he had… Blaine. His best friend was here. He definitely didn’t want to leave. He’d been dreaming of having a family since he was 8.

But there was still a heavy, niggling feeling in his stomach that told him no.

Maybe he was just scared of being happy. The only other time he’d had that, it had disappeared, and there was no way he would survive going through that again.

He looked up at Blaine.

“How long have you known?”

“A couple of weeks.”

“Is that why you’d been avoiding me?”

“What?”

His face had hardened. He breathed harshly through his nose.

“Is the idea of me staying really so terrible that you had to, what, pretend I didn’t exist?”

“Kurt-”

“No, I get it. I mean, you thought I would only be here for a couple of weeks, and now you get stuck with me forever, and you have to keep sharing your parents, and hey, where’s Cooper going to sleep when he gets back? Much easier to throw your little tantrum and try to change their minds, act like we don’t like each other, then you get to keep everything all to yourself and it all goes back to normal.”

“Stop, you don’t understand-”

“Never mind that this is the first time I’ve felt like I had a home since my mom died. Who cares that I love being here with you? All of you. I thought you liked me too, but I guess I was wrong.”

He didn’t even understand the words coming out of his mouth. He wasn’t even angry with Blaine. He just felt all wrong, and Blaine was there to take it out on.

Blaine couldn’t even explain himself; he had a feeling ‘I was just trying to stop having a huge inappropriate crush on you’ wasn’t going to help. All he could do was stand there and let Kurt be furious with him.

“I want this. But if you don’t, then say so.” He swallowed, and it looked like a struggle. He wiped a tear from his cheek with his sleeve. Blaine felt sick. “I thought we were friends.”

“We are,” Blaine pathetically tried to argue. But he knew it would be too hard not to add that he couldn’t handle being brothers.

Kurt waited for more of a response, but when nothing came he shook his head and walked out, leaving the door open. He went to his own room and flopped onto his bed, clutching a pillow so that it covered his mouth while he cried.

Blaine stared at his keyboard, at the lyrics still open on his screen, at the picture of Kurt and Mercedes pulling faces that he’d stuck to on his wall. Whatever was going on his stupid, hormonal-addled brain right now, he needed to get over it and be Kurt’s friend. It was all he’d planned on being in the first place. He crept (it was almost 1am) down the hall to Kurt’s room. It was silent, not like the time he’d heard him crying before. He knocked gently.

“In or out?”

“My room or your family?”

“Either.”

“I don’t know.”

Blaine rested his head against the door.

“How about I come in now and you can kick me out whenever you want?”

He heard a loud sniff.

“Okay.”

Blaine walked inside to see Kurt, curled up in a ball on his bed, wrapped around a cushion, his eyes brimming with tears. He’d hoped he would never have to see him like this again. Max was on the floor next to him, anxiously looking up at Blaine as if asking him what he should do to help.

“Kurt, I’m so sorry.”

“Why don’t I want this?”

“What? Kurt, I don’t understand. If it’s anything to do with- look, the way I was acting, it doesn’t matter. I was just dealing with some other stuff; it shouldn’t affect-”

“It’s not that. It’s me. There must be something wrong with me. I’m the kid with the dead mom. I asked Santa for a forever family every year until I was fourteen.” As he sat at the end of the bed, leaning down to ruffle Max’s fur, his heart clenched at the image. “Kids like me dream of this. I’m supposed to be grateful – I am grateful – but why does it feel weird?”

Blaine couldn’t help hoping it actually was because of him. Shrugging the notion off, he put a firm hand on Kurt’s knee.

“You don’t have to decide anything now. I shouldn’t have even told you. My mom only told me because- it was just a heads up that they’re thinking about it. They probably won’t even talk to you about it for another month. Please don’t be upset; it’s only because they care about you. It’s a way to make you safe.”

“I must sound so awful. You know I do appreciate everything you’ve all done for me, right?”

Blaine smiled.

“You’ve mentioned it.”

“I love your parents, Blaine. I love your whole family. I couldn’t have asked for more from you.”

“You deserve it.”

There was a lingering smile between them.

“What do I do when they ask? If they ask? I swear, Blaine, if you’ve put me through all this and they don’t even ask-”

“If and when they ask you, you just… talk to them. They’re good at talking through stuff. Tell them how you feel. Tell them you’re grateful. Tell them yes, no, or you need to think about it.”

Kurt sniffed again and smiled.

“You make it sound so simple.”

It was all Blaine could do not to laugh. It was anything but.

“The thing is, you can’t go along with it because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. This is way too big. Honestly, it would be weird if you didn’t need extra time to think about something like this.”

“I guess. Maybe I overreacted.”

“Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with Rachel.” Kurt giggled and wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve. Blaine’s insides stopped churning; it was a relief to see Kurt smiling again. “It’s late. I’ll let you sleep.”

“I actually think I’m going to read for a while first. I don’t want to sleep all stressed out.”

“How’s the book going?”

“I like it. The character development’s kind of limited, but I like seeing it all from the little boy’s perspective. Makes everything simpler. Can I just check – Out With means Auschwitz, right?”

Blaine nodded.

“Unfortunately. Can I stay? I haven’t heard you read for a while; it would be nice to see how you’re doing.”

Kurt nodded. Blaine marvelled for a moment: anyone else, anyone older than 11, would probably recoil at the idea of reading aloud to someone. It could have been because Kurt trusted Blaine, or felt comfortable around him, or because Kurt just didn’t have the same self-consciousness that most teenagers had. Blaine always assumed that people from rough backgrounds would hate themselves, but Kurt never seemed to; he accepted compliments graciously and knew when he’d done something well. Sometimes loud noises or unexpected physical contact made him flinch, but he never seemed to blame himself for it, for what others had done to him.

He may not have had his mother for long, but she had obviously had a tremendous impact in the short time they had together. He silently thanked her and scooted up to the head of the bed while Kurt found the right page.

“You just stopped mid-chapter? Like a savage?”

The two of them were sitting at the head of the single bed (the main reason Cooper didn’t come back much, according to him, _‘I need some lady space if you catch my drift’_ ) and Kurt laughed and nudged Blaine.

_“ ‘I’ve been exploring,’ he said._

_‘Have you?’ said the little boy._

_‘Yes. For almost two hours now.’_

_This was not strictly true. Bruno had been exploring for just over an hour but he didn’t think that exaggerating slightly would be too bad a thing to do. It wasn’t quite the same thing as lying and made him seem more adventurous than he really was._

I like when he does that.”

Blaine frowned for a moment, realising that line wasn’t in the book.

“Does what?”

“I just think Bruno is really believable. It’s just this really clear explanation of a kid brain. The narrator doesn’t even make fun of him; he just explains. He’s like a kid to grown up translator.”

Unbelievable. Kurt had barely been reading for two months, and now he was analysing narrative techniques.

“I like that too.”

_“ ‘Have you found anything?’ asked the boy._

_‘Very little.’_

_‘Nothing at all?’_

_‘Well, I found you,’ said Bruno after a moment.”_

Kurt paused.

Blaine tried hard to think about what must have been going through his head. He, like Bruno, had been put in places he hadn’t wanted to go to, he’d felt lost and alone god knows how many times, and now he had found – something. A home. A family. Blaine. Either way, he finally had something he could hold onto. Did it feel amazing being this close to him, listening to the soft lilt of his voice and feeling the confidence exuding from him? Yes. Was he desperate to kiss the amazing boy next to him? Yes. But did her have any right to force Kurt back into instability?

He would settle for this. Reading, sitting, singing, Kurt. It was enough.

He resisted the urge to curl into Kurt’s side and lean on his shoulder. He stayed a little stiff and uncomfortable. His comfort wasn’t the priority.

Even when they kept reading, right to the end of the book, and Kurt grabbed his hand in a panic, Blaine did nothing but hold it back. He was his friend. And maybe even his brother.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blaine gets sick and makes a confession to Kurt.

Things took a turn.

Blaine and Julia tried to argue with Figgins, but to no avail.

David Karofsky was coming back to school.

“This is so unfair! He beat Kurt up! He gave him a black eye! Hasn’t he been through enough without having to see the guy who tormented him every single day at school?”

“Blaine Anderson, that is not an appropriate tone for speaking to me, and of all people I certainly wouldn’t expect it of you.”

“But sir-”

“Enough, Blaine.” Blaine rarely took the principal seriously, but he did now. “Mr Karofsky is trying very hard to atone for his past behaviour, and Mr Hummel seems to be doing very well.”

“He’s doing well because he’s not around a psycho like Karofsky!”

“Blaine, sweetheart,” Julia put a hand on his wrist, “why don’t you let Kurt have a say? What do you think, honey?”

Blaine looked to his right, where Kurt was sitting. He was frowning. He looked lost in thought rather than fear.

“If anything happens? If he tries something?”

“He’s on quintuple probation. He wouldn’t dare. And if he does, he’ll go straight back to Stonefield and he knows it. I’ve spoken to him, and he genuinely seems sorry.”

Kurt looked at Blaine, determined but still somewhat pleading.

“If there’s anything I can do- we’ll all try to help. Finn seems dopey, but I swear he’s got clout here. With all of us around you, you’ll be safe. We’ll do whatever it takes.”

The way Blaine’s fingers were gripping onto the arm of his chair told Kurt that he really meant it. He felt braver just being near him.

“Okay.”

“Really?”

“Well, I don’t think I really have any say here, but… I’ll be okay. I can do this.”

And that’s how the patrols started. Puck, the one Sam had asked about, the one who had told Dave to go easy on Kurt back in juvie, came back too, and joined the ranks of the KPS – Kurt Protection Squad. He apologised for not doing more before, for not stopping Dave, for not pulling him off more quickly. Kurt thanked him for pulling off at all. They struck up a peculiar friendship, based largely around their shared history, Kurt knowing how scared Puck had been in juvie and not above telling people, and their mutual confusion when it came to the louder girls in their group. For two straight weeks, Kurt never went unescorted around school.

Then Blaine got sick.

It wasn’t that the others didn’t care, or that they only cared when Blaine was forcing them to. They all loved Kurt, and they all cared about his safety, but they were all rather forgetful and self-involved. As hard as they tried, with Blaine off for the day, Kurt wound up alone between French and his extra literacy class, and as he was getting so much more relaxed about school these days, he let his guard down. When he heard the name Karofsky again, he had expected shoves and shouts and glares, but what he got was a timid tap on the shoulder.

He turned. He flinched. He took one look at Dave’s face, and the all-encompassing fear gave way to a slight squeeze in his stomach. He looked much smaller, much less angry - even on the brink of tears.

“What do you want?”

“Can we talk?” Kurt paused, hesitant. "I've been trying to speak to you since I got back, but you're always surrounded."

Logically, Kurt knew that going somewhere private with the boy who had made him cower so many times, the boy whose glance made him squirm, was probably a bad idea, but something in the guy’s voice told Kurt he wasn’t in any danger. Dave led them down a corridor and round a corner, where people wouldn’t see them unless they were looking for them.

“So… what do you need to-”

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. There’s no excuse for what I did to you, there’s no way I would ever expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted you to know that I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to hurt anybody now. When I was in there… that wasn’t me. That’s not who I want to be. The thing is – can you promise not to tell anyone? I know I don’t deserve it, but- but it’s the only way I can explain and I-”

Kurt risked patting Dave’s forearm. “It’s okay, David. Whatever it is, I-”

“I’m like you. That’s why you freaked me out, okay, I’m… I’m the same as you.”

Kurt blinked. He looked up at Dave, then down at himself. Didn’t feel hugely similar.

“What do you-” he saw the meaningful look Dave was giving him. “Oh. Oh.” He thought back to the weird way Dave had stared at him, the way he always held onto him a little too long, and so many things clicked into place. “Ohhhh. Wow.”

There was a tear spilling down Dave’s cheek and Kurt found himself shushing him.

“No, no, Dave, look, I’m not going to tell anybody. That’s not my place. I can’t… I can’t believe this.”

Dave felt uncomfortable as Kurt gave him the same look his dad gave him, the look that said ‘I know you better than you do’. “What?”

“I can’t believe I thought you hated me when you- you must have- Dave, I’m so sorry.”

Dave half-laughed, half-whimpered. “No, you can’t steal my apology. I-”

“Please don’t hate yourself, David. You’ve done bad things, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. And being gay-” the word made Dave tense up, “being this way doesn’t mean you are worth any less. It doesn’t mean you won’t be happy.”

Dave sniffed, trying desperately to keep his cool and failing miserably. “Are you? Happy? You know, here, living with Blaine – are you okay?” Kurt could see that he needed both proof that he hadn’t screwed a kid up for life and proof that there was still hope for a closet case like him. He thought for a moment, determined to give a decent answer. He thought about Julia and Robert, how they genuinely felt like his parents now. How Libby was so sweet and tried so hard to do things that would make him happy – offering to bake cookies with him, talking about clothes and boybands, giving him reading tips even though he had already read more books than her. And then Blaine. Blaine was everything.

“I am. I’m really happy.”

Dave smiled weakly. “Okay. That’s good. It’s good that you’re happy.” He swallowed and clenched his fists for a moment and he took a couple of deep breaths. “So you probably have a class to go to. And your friends will be worried about you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I know they’ve been guarding you.”

“They have not-” Dave raised an eyebrow. “Okay, they have. Are you surprised?”

“No. I’m glad they’ve got your back. Especially with a thug like me around.”

Kurt laughed. If someone had told him a few months ago that he would be laughing with Dave Karofsky, he’d had thought they were insane.

“Absolutely. Big, tough, straight thug. Happy to maintain the illusion.”

Dave smiled. “Thanks, Kurt. And I’m sorry for what I did.”

Kurt nodded. “I know. It’s okay.”

Dave definitely looked different. Less vicious, less twisted – maybe a little sadder, but Kurt knew it wouldn’t last long. Dave walked away, and Kurt watched him go. That was it. The worst had happened, and he had survived. And all he could think about was racing home to tell Blaine.

~

“Hi, I’m home!” Kurt called out as he entered the house.

Robert was in the kitchen chopping vegetables for a stir fry. “Hey, Kurt! Good day?”

“Really good, actually. How’s he doing?”

“Up to his eyeballs on flu meds. He’s had some soup and just about kept it down, so I guess that’s good. At least one more day off, though. You can go up and see him if you want, but you may want to wear a mask before exposing yourself to those germs.”

Kurt grinned.

“I told Mr Schue I’d keep him in the loop about glee club. Do you need a hand with dinner?”

“I’d prefer a hand with Blaine. He’s a very needy patient.”

“No problem.” Kurt took the stairs two at a time, and pushed the door open to see a lump of blankets with a very flushed Blaine underneath it, tendrils of hair plastered to his forehead, tissues scattered all over the floor. “Oh, Blaine, you poor thing.”

“Kurt?”

“Yes, Blaine, it’s me.”

“Oh, Kurt, thank god you’re here. Now I can keep you safe.” He tried to open his eyes, failed to focus, and let them fall closed again. "Come here. Need you close.”

Kurt laughed. “Okay, dopey.” He walked towards Blaine and adjusted the cold cloth on his head. Blaine, eyes still closed, reached for him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “Wow. Okay. I guess I can stay for a minute.” He nudged Blaine to make room so he could sit next to him on the bed, and when he looked down at the warm, clammy blob of boy clinging to him, blankets slipping from around his shoulders, he realised Blaine was shirtless. That shouldn’t have been a big deal. He tugged the blanket up to cover him up, but he shoved them to the floor.

“No, too hot. Don’t like it. Hot.”

“Okay, Blaine, sorry.”

“You’re hot, Kurt.”

“No, Blaine, I’m fine.”

“No, no, you don’t understand. You’re… different. You’re special.”

“Okay, pal. You’re special too.” Blaine made a frustrated whining noise and nuzzled against Kurt’s chest. “Hey, what’s wrong? Can I get you something? Do you need a drink?”

“Nope. Just you.”

Kurt smiled. He hugged Blaine a little closer.

“Aww. That’s sweet.” He put his arm around Blaine, not minding the cool dampness of his skin, and leaned his cheek on Blaine’s sweaty hair.

“No!” Blaine finally managed to move a little, just enough to sit up and look at Kurt, albeit with his eyes slightly unfocused. “No, you don’t understand. It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

Blaine groaned.

“It’s not fair that you’re so pretty and I can’t kiss you.”

Kurt froze.

“What? Blaine, what did you say?”

Blaine gave another groan and slumped against Kurt’s side. “Mmmm.”

“Blaine? Blaine, did you just- are you- oh, God.”

He sat still, his arms still around Blaine, Blaine still clinging to his waist despite being borderline comatose. Suddenly his shirtlessness was overwhelming and it was too hot in that room and how dare Blaine be sweaty enough to let his hair curl up a little instead of being gelled down and… oh, God.

Blaine didn’t join the others for dinner. Kurt was quieter than usual. He didn’t sleep that night.

~

Somewhere else in Lima, a phone rang in the office of a tyre shop.

“Hummel’s tyres and lube.” No pleasantries.

“Am I speaking to a… Burt Hummel?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Mr Hummel, my name’s Stuart, and I work for Social Services.”

Burt listened as the man talked. It seemed to take forever – but then everything does when time grinds to a halt.

The phone fell to the floor with a clatter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt tries to deal with Blaine's confession.

"You're quiet. Something wrong?"

_**YES, BLAINE. LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS WRONG.** _

Kurt shrugged and kept writing. It had been an awkward week, to say the least. After snuggly, sick Blaine's babbled confession, Kurt couldn't think straight. Even when he got better, his voice seemed softer, his eyes brighter, his touch gentler. He had thanked Kurt for the water and cold medicine on his nightstand (put there by Robert, not Kurt) and told him how much he hated the flu because it made him all hot and sweaty and made his hair frizz out. No mention of cuddling up to him or his naked skin pressed against Kurt's sweater (the first sweater he had bought himself with his wages and it was not made to be sweated on), nothing.

"Seriously." Blaine put his hand on Kurt's. God, it was nice. "You'd tell me if there was something, right? You're being… different."

_Yes, Blaine. Yes, I'm being different, because you talked about kissing me and I hadn't even thought about you like that before but now apparently I can't stop noticing your lips and your jawline and I'm so mad at you for changing everything and I'm also pretty besotted with you and how dare you make everything more complicated and why didn't you tell me sooner but also why did you tell me at all because this just feels so weird. And I'm really annoyed with myself because this doesn't even feel that new, more like it's been there the whole time and I was just too blind to realise._

"Of course I would tell you. I'm fine."

Blaine smiled and took his hand away. Kurt felt like a piece of him had been cut off.

"So, big day tomorrow."

"Hm?"

"Uh, your glee club debut? Had it slipped your mind?"

_Yes_.

"No. It'll be fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"You're sure you're not nervous?"

"Blaine-"

"Do you need to run it through one more time?"

_And spend an evening singing to you? Nice try, pal._

"Nope. I'm good."

"Yes you are."

Kurt internalised an exasperated groan and got back to his homework.

~

He had told himself this was fine. Of all the things going on, Julia and Robert maybe asking to adopt him, Blaine wanting to kiss him, him crushing ridiculously hard on Blaine, on top of school and Dave and trying to make friends with the others – singing one song in front of people he knew would applaud however bad he was really shouldn't have been terrifying. But it really was.

Why had he decided to change his song choice? How had he let Rachel Berry convince him that it was a good idea?

"It's so current, and the singer has a similar range to you, and the song is vulnerable but still powerful, Kurt, this is going to show off everything you can do both vocally and emotionally…"

He just wanted her to stop talking.

And now Mr Schue was in front of them, grinning at him, gesturing for him to come up to sing.

_Oh god oh god oh god._

Rachel and Tina had kindly agreed to sit behind him and do the 'ooh's for him, just so he wouldn't be totally alone up there. As the pianist started, Kurt saw Blaine frowning. He hadn't told him about the song change.

He was sure he would open his mouth and his jaw would hang there, limply, and he would either throw up or pass out or run out crying. But none of those things happened. He opened his mouth. Words came out, hitting the right notes, and even though he tried to take in the others, Sam's dopey grin, Santana's proud smirk and her head held high, the tears filling Puck's eyes (had that guy really been to a juvenile detention centre?) his eyes always trailed back to Blaine. Blaine's eyes were practically glowing, biting his lip one moment and just beaming the next, looking utterly spellbound as he clutched Brittany's wrist.

Kurt tried closing his eyes, hoping it would make it easier.

[{Listen to the song here}](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXTAn4ELEwM)

_"I remember us alone, waiting for the light to go,_  
Don't you feel that hunger, I've got so many secrets to show,  
When I saw you on that stage, I shivered with the look you gave,  
Don't you hear that rhythm, can you show me how we can escape,  
I was biting my tongue, I was trying to hide,  
I'll forget what I've done, I'll be redefined."

Focusing on the lyrics made it harder. Someone else had the nerve to trick him with words, to put the truth in his mouth at the least convenient time.

_"It's shaking the sky, and I'm following lightning,_  
I'll recover if you keep me alive,  
Don't leave me behind,  
Can't you see me, I'm shining,  
And it's you that I've been waiting to find."

He gripped the totally unnecessary mic stand in front of him, brow furrowed.

_"Everything I can arrange,_  
Every part of me you change,  
Just hold me together, tell me  
You'll always want me to stay."

He had to loosen his grip on the microphone. His hands were shaking too hard. He pressed his palms flat against his stomach instead, trying to focus on his breathing like Blaine had shown him.

_"I wanna be the one you steal, I wanna be the one you shield,  
I wanna be the one that your love, your love, can heal."_

He forced himself to look up again, vision obscured by tears, only to see Blaine looking just as anguished as him. The song came to a close, Brad's accompaniment so gentle and moving that it made Kurt feel even more painfully vulnerable and exposed.

Blaine wasn't looking at Kurt any more. The others were all clapping wildly, and they rushed towards Kurt to hug him. He had been expecting it, so he didn't flinch, but the one person he really wanted holding him wasn't there. Kurt saw him run outside amidst the chaos and excused himself from the huddle saying he needed a minute with his voice coach. The others took the excuse happily and got back to discussing some setlist or other.

"Blaine?"

He was sitting on the floor, slumped against a locker, sniffing and wiping his eyes with a tissue.

"In my defence, I've cried watching Mercedes sing at least four times."

"I didn't mean to sing it to you. It just… fit. I'm sorry."

Blaine looked up at him with a hint of suspicion.

"Why would that be a problem? Don't all foster brothers sing to each other like that?"

Kurt sat down next to him. He didn't have the energy to keep any distance between them.

"Blaine, I know. I know you've been. Feeling. Things."

"No, no I don't, I'm that nice to everybody-"

"You told me. When you were sick. And then you kind of held onto me for a while. You were really sweaty, it was gross."

Blaine moaned.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry if I made you uncomfortable, that's the last thing I want, I just think you're great but I swear I don't expect anything and I know it's not appropriate and you're finally in a stable place and I don't want to screw that up-"

"Blaine, stop."

Blaine stopped. For three seconds.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Blaine's knees were pulled up to his chest, and Kurt laid a hand on one of them. "Really."

"Kurt, you don't have to."

"I know."

They were leaning closer to each other, their breathing unsteady.

"The others could walk out here."

"They won't."

Blaine took Kurt's hand.

"I'm about to do something really stupid and irresponsible, so you… you should probably stop me."

"Mmm. Probably."

Blaine leaned in slowly, trying hard to control himself so Kurt could back out if he wanted to. Part of him still hoped he might back out himself. Neither of them did.

Their lips pressed together, and Blaine was just as gentle as he always was, and Kurt still had that self-certainty, even with his hand trembling. They both felt like the whole world had shifted, and when they pulled away to look at each other again, they both laughed a little in disbelief.

"Okay," Kurt said, "that happened. Oh dear."

"Bad? Please say bad. Awful. Terrible."

Kurt shook his head.

"Sorry. I'm a lousy liar."

"Darn. I'm with you. That was pretty spectacular."

"It was. But there's always room for improvement. I'd be happy to practise."

He leaned in, and Blaine couldn't resist kissing him again, but he only let it last for a second.

"We can't."

"False. We just proved definitively that we absolutely can. Unless you don't want to."

"No! No, Kurt, it's not that I- I really want to. I've wanted to for so long. But we can't."

"Why not?"

"My mom spoke to me about it. There's kind of a rule about foster kids – not an official rule, more a guideline, but-"

"Your mom knows?"

"She knew before I did."

"She's smart."

"She is. And she said that if anything were to happen with us it would be wrong. Because even if they don't adopt you, we're still kind of brothers." Kurt made a grossed-out face. "Exactly. There have to be rules about this kind of stuff so people don't get taken advantage of."

"You mean vulnerable kids like me?" Kurt stood up. "Blaine, you weren't taking advantage. Those kisses – those really nice kisses – were completely consensual."

"But if we – if this happens, then they definitely can't adopt you. And isn't it a little short-sighted to choose a crush over actual security and safety and you having a home?"

"This doesn't feel like a crush," Kurt tried to argue, though they were both very aware of the fact that neither of them exactly had a lot of experience in terms of crushes or anything more.

"Kurt. If you didn't get adopted because of this, and this didn't work out… that would be it. I- we can't risk that over… over a kiss."

Kurt wasn't smiling any more.

"Two kisses," Kurt mumbled. Blaine took his hand.

"Two excellent kisses. But I can't ruin your life for them. I care about you too much for that."

Kurt nodded. He pulled his hand out of Blaine's grasp and reached up to cup his jaw.

"Just one more? Then we go cold turkey?"

Blaine smirked.

"We're in so much trouble." He leaned in, but Kurt stopped him. "No, you're right. We shouldn't."

"No, no, I just- is that why you went weird? Did you avoid me just so you'd stop wanting to make out with me?"

Blaine looked sheepish. "Maybe. Sorry."

It clicked. The only time he had doubted his relationship with Blaine was all because he was trying to keep him safe. "Oh, Blaine." He kissed him so hard they both stumbled a little, Kurt all but pinning Blaine against a locker. He couldn't believe he had maybe the sweetest, kindest boy in the world this close and this was the last time they were ever going to do this. It would be difficult, now that he knew just how nice it felt, to avoid doing it again.

When they finally came up for air, Kurt was laughing.

"Well, I'm glad one of us finds this situation amusing."

"No, it's not- it's just- they put me with your family because we're both gay. They deliberately put two gay teenage boys together in a house, but we get in trouble for falling for each other."

Blaine let out a single laugh. "It's a cruel system. I'm sorry, Kurt."

"So am I, Blaine. My possible future brother who I just made out with. This is so gross."

"Yeah, it is. But could you maybe just hold me here for a bit longer?"

Kurt nodded and wrapped his arms around Blaine. As he felt the tension leaving his shoulders, he realised just how hard Blaine must have been fighting this. He owed it to him to do the same, as soon as this moment was over. He took a slow, deep breath, catching a whiff of hair gel as he felt Blaine's strong shoulders shift as he held him, Blaine's arms around his waist, tried to take in as much Blaine as he could. They avoiding talking for the rest of glee club and all the way home.

Home was suddenly different.

Except that when Kurt glanced around himself at the living room, he realised it had been like this for a long time.

He and Libby were sitting on the sofa, him braiding her hair, loving the soft feel of it between his fingers and the way she preened at the attention. Apparently he was the best in the house at doing it – but still not quite as good as Cooper, who used her for a lot of hair and make-up practice in case he ever had to do his own styling. Blaine interjected that he always had to do his own styling. Libby read to them both, Kurt paying more attention than Blaine who was copying up some notes from Biology. She would occasionally point out certain words to Kurt, asking him if he knew them, and after he'd sounded them out he always did. It made Blaine smile. Robert came in, brandishing a plate of cookies.

"Anybody hungry?"

Libby gasped, her eyes lighting up. "Me!" and when he held them out of her reach, "Me, please, Dad!"

Kurt didn't let himself look at Blaine laughing, knowing the sound alone would be enough to make his stomach twist without seeing his eyes crinkling too. Robert was about to hand the cookies out when Julia came in. "Hey! Nuh-uh, buddy, those are for later, dinner's still in the oven!"

"Oh, but darling," he put a hand on the small of her back and pulled her close, "look at the children. They're wasting away." The three of them tried to look adequately sad, something Kurt found difficult while watching the display of domesticity, of married-ness, of sweet and playful adoration. "Plus," Robert added with a kiss, "they're just so delicious, it wouldn't be fair to deprive anyone of such deliciousness."

She gave an exaggerated sigh, then smirked and kissed him again, lingering much to Libby's annoyance. Julia took the plate and handed it to her daughter to placate her before kissing Robert for even longer, ignoring Libby's shouts of 'Ew!' through a mouthful of chocolate chips.

"Fine, we'll leave you alone. Dinner in ten. Lib, honey, your hair looks pretty."

"Thanks, mom, Kurt did it. He's almost as good as Coop."

Julia smiled at Kurt, and absent-mindedly cupped his cheek for a moment. He stared up at her adoringly, feeling so at home, so blissfully comfortable having her and Robert looking after him. Her hand was so soft and her smile was so warm. It set off something in his head – for once it wasn't an alarm, or a voice telling him that this was temporary. What felt weird was that this didn't feel weird at all.

He felt at home. Julia felt like his mother.

When they left, Libby started reading again, Blaine went back to his notes, and Kurt watched as Robert and Julia went back into the kitchen, Robert popping a piece of carrot into his mouth, gasping at the heat, Julia cackling at him. He swallowed and pulled a heartbroken face until she stroked his cheek and gave him a peck on the lips, as if she were kissing him better. They started talking about their days, picking up the conversation where they'd left off a moment ago. Kurt noticed (but they didn't) that they were swaying gently at they spoke, her arms on his shoulders, his hands on her waist. Blaine looked up at Kurt as he watched the two of them. There was a spark at the bottom of his spine when he remembered that just hours earlier he had been kissing those lips, the ones now turned into the sweetest smile. But just when his heart felt like it was floating, it sank when he remembered that it couldn't happen again. That he risked making that safe, content smile go away. He never wanted it to go away. It was perfect. He refused to be responsible for him getting lost again. He forced his eyes back down to his work.

Kurt kept grinning as he turned back to listen to Libby again.

"Kurt, what does that one say?"

"Ment… Mention. It's just another way of saying someone says something."

"Then why can't they just say 'say'?"

"Because girls with wide vocabularies get snatched up by colleges. And a little variety is good for you. Keep going, you're doing great."

She sighed and kept reading.

Blaine was focused on his notes, but Kurt snuck a glance at him. He looked so worried, so serious considering he still had half a cookie in his hand. He took another bite and crumbs spilled down his wrist. Kurt swallowed a laugh as Blaine awkwardly tried to catch them before any chocolate melted on the chair. He hovered just above it, checking anxiously for the smallest morsel stuck underneath him. He may have rolled his eyes at his mother occasionally, but he was so anxious to do what she wanted and make her happy. Kurt couldn't imagine her angry, but she was just so delightful when she was happy it seemed worth keeping her that way. Blaine, seemingly satisfied that the chair was crumb-free, settled down again, scribbling away furiously. Weird, Kurt thought, he doesn't even like Biology that much. He remembered last week when Blaine had picked up the arm of the frog he should have been dissecting and made it wave at Kurt across the room instead. Just thinking about it made Kurt want to giggle. In a fashion that could only be described as lovesick, he sighed, only to freeze when Blaine looked up.

They blinked uselessly at each other for a moment.

"Kurt? Kurt!"

"Hm?"

"What's that word?"

"Oh, um…" it took him a second just to make his eyes focus on the words properly, "voyage. It's like a journey, but it's usually on a boat or a ship."

"Like pirates?"

"Exactly like pirates."

"Okay."

And back to the book again.

Back to the nagging feeling in their stomachs that told them to look up again, to see if their eyes would meet again, if they could hold it a little longer without smiling, jumping on each other. But it was too big a risk. They kept to themselves until they were called for dinner.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Julia ask Kurt the question he’s been waiting for, while he’s still struggling to deal with the aftermath of the kiss.

It wasn’t that Kurt didn’t like his job. He appreciated the meagre income, so he never considered himself above the work, and even the worst customers made good anecdotes. He liked talking to people all day, and he loved it when parents brought their kids in and referred to him as ‘the nice man behind the counter’. But he really loved finishing, and coming home to tell Robert about his day (Julia was usually grading books on Saturday afternoons). It felt so good to have a routine, and someone who loved hearing about his day and laughing at his stories.

But today Julia wasn’t working. She and Robert were both waiting for him when he got home.

“Hi, Kurt,” Robert said, looking stiff and nervous.

“Good day, sweetheart?” Julia asked, smiling too widely and gripping Robert’s hand.

Kurt frowned. “Yeah, fine. Are you guys okay?”

“We need to talk to you about something.” Robert blurted it out, as if he’d practised the sentence in his head so many times he didn’t feel the need to enunciate it any more.

“Do you want to sit down first? I could get you something to drink? We don’t want to bombard you the second you get home. Drink? Sandwich?”

“I’ve been around enough beverages for today, thanks. Are you two sure you’re okay?” He let out a nervous giggle. There was a heaviness in his stomach, a foreboding feeling that he knew what was coming and he had no idea how he felt about it or what he was going to say.

The three of them sat down, Julia and Robert on one couch, her hand on his knee, and Kurt on the other one. Julia took a very deep breath. “So, Kurt. You like it here, right?”

Kurt nodded. “Yes. I’m really happy here. With all of you. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me.”

Robert smiled. “It’s been our pleasure, Kurt. We’ve all loved having you here.”

“And we can’t help thinking,” Julia continued with a glance at her husband, “that it’s really started to feel like you’re part of the family. More than with any other foster children we’ve taken in.”

Kurt nodded. He couldn’t argue. He was more comfortable there than he had been in years. He’d never felt so settled.

“And what really matters to us,” Robert cut in, “is that you’re safe and happy. And we would never want to do anything to compromise that. If you just want to keep things the way they are, we’re happy to keep fostering you and having you here for as long as you need to be.”

“But we were actually hoping to make this situation more long-term. We know how long you’ve been in foster care and how weird it might seem to let something become permanent… this isn’t coming out how I wanted it to.” Kurt smiled. He’d never seen either of them nervous before. It showed just how much they cared about him. “Kurt, we’ve been talking about it, and if you would be open to the idea, we would really like to be your parents.”

“We’d like to adopt you, Kurt.”

Kurt was sitting on his hands, and he squeezed the cushion underneath him. His brain was screaming at him to say yes, to shout out that this was all he’d ever wanted and he loved being here and he couldn’t imagine more wonderful parents than the two of them.

He said nothing.

“Obviously we don’t expect you to make a decision straight away. There are lots of factors that mean it would be beneficial just from a legal standpoint.” Julia was trying hard to maintain her teacher voice, her voice of logic and reason, despite the tremble in her hand. “It would prevent you from ever going into care again. It would mean that if anything happens to us, you would still be protected under our life insurance policy and you would be able to stay at McKinley, and it means no matter what you could stay here with the same friends, and with Libby and Blaine. We’d never let you go back into juvie or into a group home.”

“And obviously all of this is important,” Robert added, “but more than that, Kurt, we… we would love for you to be our son. Legally, but in every other way too. We really care about you, and we want to be your parents. Christmas, birthdays, graduation, every time you come back from college holidays we want it to be here. We want to keep seeing you grow, helping you learn new things – we can’t tell you how amazing it’s been to see how much you’ve changed in the last few months. You were already a sweet boy, but now you’re so confident and we feel like you’re a perfect fit here. Do… do you think so too?”

Kurt nodded rapidly and pulled his hands free to try and look less nervous. He then had no idea what to do with them, so he settled them on his knees.

“Yes. Definitely.”

Robert and Julia smiled, their shoulders relaxing a little.

“We just like having you here, honey.” Julia took his hand and it gave him goose bumps. “We love you, Kurt.”

His eyes stung. If he said no, if he gave this up for whatever there was between him and Blaine, would it mean he never got to feel like this again? The idea of never feeling this wanted, this at home, this much a part of a family again, made him want to disappear.

But he would have to live with Blaine every day, knowing how it felt to kiss him and feel his hands on him and never be able to have that. Blaine might actually stop looking at him the way he did. The boy he was falling for (who was he kidding, he’d definitely already fallen) would have to be his brother.

And those kisses had been spectacular.

He looked at Julia and Robert, took in their anxious smiles and felt Julia’s gentle hand in his.

“Is it okay if I think about it?”

“Oh, of course it is,” Robert said soothingly. “Take all the time you need. Remember you’re always safe here, no matter what.” Kurt believed him.

“I kinda want to get out of my uniform. Can I go upstairs?”

Julia smiled. “Of course you can. Blaine should be back from Sam’s in an hour or so; I’m sure you’ll want to discuss it with someone who isn’t us.”

They all stood up, and Kurt threw himself at Robert and Julia, shutting his eyes and basking in the warmth of their hold.

“I love you too. I want you to know that.”

He heard a sniff and felt them both nodding. He pulled back to see both of them on the verge of tears.

“Well,” Robert said, voice cracking a little, “don’t let us keep you down here. You probably have way better things to do with your Saturday afternoon.”

Kurt laughed and nodded, unsure he could get through a sentence without losing it. He went upstairs, took off his awful Lima Bean hat and looked in the mirror, ruffling his hair where it had been flattened.

“Kurt Anderson.” He paused and tried again. “Kurt Anderson-Hummel.” That was nicer. He couldn’t leave his mother behind completely and he didn’t want to. But he really felt like part of something here, and if it was going to happen, he would want it to be official.

He wanted to be someone’s son again. He wanted to be their son. Putting a crush before that seemed so childish and stupid and short-sighted.

He needed to talk to someone about it: someone who could help him vocalise every thought flitting through his mind, someone who would talk back to him a mile a minute to match his brainwaves. He tapped his phone until he got to Rachel Berry’s number. He was desperate.

~

“Kurt, at this point it would be ridiculous for them not to want to adopt you. You’re delightful. And very talented. I don’t how familiar you are with Sondheim but there are some songs I think you really ought to-”

This may have been a bad idea.

“Rachel. I didn’t come here to talk about glee club. I’ve got bigger things happening right now.”

She bristled, but took a breath, seemingly counting to ten, and nodded. “So you’re not sure you want to stay with them?”

“No, I do want to stay. I like it here, and I love living with them.”

“So is this about your mother? You feel like you’re betraying her?”

She got to the point; he had to give her that.

“No. I don’t think so.”

“So it’s Blaine.”

“What? How-”

“Kurt, he’s your best friend. The only reason you wouldn’t be talking to him about this is if you can’t. And that’s probably something to do with the fact that he’s madly in love with you.” Kurt stared at her, mouth open. “Yes, I know, Kurt. We all know. And we think it’s adorable, really. I mean, if they adopt you it’ll be gross because he’ll be your brother but for now it’s sweet because you’re very cute together and he’s been looking out for you for all this time and then there was that song- I had no idea just how good I was at song selection. Quite brilliant.”

“Okay.”

“What happened when you two left, by the way? You just disappeared for ten minutes and came back silent. Oh!” she clapped her hand over her mouth for a moment, albeit a short one. He was getting annoyed at how transparent she seemed to find him. “You kissed!”

He thought he might be breaking out in a sweat.

“Yes. That’s why I needed to talk to someone. I don’t know what to do.”

“Kurt, you can’t let a few technicalities get in the way of true love.”

“Technicalities? Like him almost being my brother? Rachel, that’s not just a technicality. That’s disgusting.”

“Well, it’s not like you were raised together. Does he feel like your brother?” Kurt shook his head. “Then what’s the problem?”

“It would be so weird. What kind of idiot refuses adoption for a potential boyfriend?”

“The kind who just needs to run the clock out until he turns eighteen, then he doesn’t even need a legal guardian. You can still stay with them without them being your parents.”

“But I like the idea of them being my parents. They’ve been so good to me.”

“Kurt, we’re going in circles. If you were just going to counter everything I said, why did you come? Didn’t you want me to tell you what to do?”

“I don’t know. I think I just needed to say it all out loud. Look, I’m sorry for bothering you. Maybe this was a mistake.”

She reached out and took his hand, and scooted up her bed towards him.

“No, no. I- I’m actually really flattered that you felt you could talk to me. I know I’m not easy to be around. Just tell me how I can help.”

Kurt thought for a moment.

“Get Blaine different parents, so I can have his and we can still date.”

“That might be hard. I could give you vegan ice cream?”

Kurt smiled.

“You’re not that difficult, Rachel Berry. And if you hadn’t helped me pick that song-”

“Then you wouldn’t be in this mess?”

Kurt laughed.

“Then we wouldn’t have kissed. And things would be less messy, but- I don’t want to un-kiss him.”

She grinned. “Was it magical?”

He smiled. She was loud and obnoxious, but there wasn’t an ounce of judgement in her eyes, and that was the one thing he was most afraid of right now.

“It really was. God, I’ve never felt anything like that before. I was sure I was going to do it all wrong, but then it just- worked. His hands are so strong, and being so close felt- amazing. He’s amazing.”

“He is. But so are you. I hope you stay at McKinley, whatever happens with you.”

He squeezed her hand. “I hope so too.”

“Maybe my dads could adopt you instead. We’ve got a room downstairs for entertaining that I’m sure could be converted into an extra bedroom.”

“But Rachel, what if I fell in love with you too?”

He expected a laugh, but just got a stare.

“Love?”

He felt his face heat up.

“I- I’m sixteen. What do I know about love? We’ve kissed a couple of times. It’s nothing compared to what his parents have done for me. I mean, you don’t know what it’s like not having a family, never having a real home or people who care about you. I take that seriously.”

“Hey, Kurt, I know. I know I can’t understand the stuff you’ve been through, but- it’s not nothing. I’ve seen it between you two. It’s definitely not nothing.”

Kurt had all but made his mind up, decided that he wanted a family more than a boyfriend, until she said that. He still had the same decision in mind, but now it was joined with a pang of pre-emptive regret.

“I should go.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“I know. Thank you for helping, I just- I think I need to do this by myself now.”

She told him to call if he needed a sounding board again, or when he was ready to talk showtunes for his next performance, and he hugged her. Not just to stop her talking, but it helped. He walked home quietly, his mind going in the same loop over and over.

He either chose parents, a family, a home, and ended up with everything he’d wanted since he was eight, or he chose Blaine. And potentially lost everything he cared about. It was the sensible thing to do.

~

Blaine was watching TV, having come back from Sam’s half an hour ago, when the phone rang. His father took it in the kitchen. When Blaine went out to get a glass of water, his parents were sitting at the table, holding hands, looking shaken up.

“Something wrong? Did Libby finally get kicked out of ballet class?”

They shook their heads.

“That was Kurt’s social worker. They’ve found his father.”

Blaine stopped in his tracks. All he could think was that Kurt would leave. Kurt would leave, and he might never see him again or know if he was okay or be there to help him if he was crying in the middle of the night. Everything suddenly went blurry.

“So… what happens now?”

“He needs to meet him. And maybe… maybe go and live with him.”

“What? No, that can’t be right. They can’t make him live with a total stranger. He lives here.”

“Sweetheart, he’s under eighteen. His father will automatically have a say-”

“And what qualifies him? He got somebody pregnant seventeen years ago and has done how much for Kurt since then? Oh, right, nothing. We’re the ones who’ve been here, who’ve done everything for him, and they just want to uproot him and-”

“Sweetheart, they’re doing background checks, they’ve met him. Apparently he didn’t even know Kurt existed.”

“Sure he’s saying that now. How do we know he didn’t just walk out?”

“Blaine, Kurt’s social worker is a friend of mine. They wouldn’t let him go anywhere near someone if they thought it was inappropriate. He lives in Ohio, so he wouldn’t even go that far away. He might even be able to stay at McKinley.”

“Are you really going to let this happen?”

Robert’s tone got firmer. “We don’t have a choice. We can’t just lock Kurt up here because we like him. He deserves a chance to get to know his father, his family-”

Kurt heard raised voices before he even turned his key in the lock. He opened the door and they got louder.

“This is a joke. I thought you wanted what was best for him.”

“We do.”

“Then why are you doing this?”

“It’s for the best-”

Oh no.

“No, not it isn’t! You don’t know Kurt like I do, neither of you do!”

Oh, Blaine, you didn’t tell them.

“Blaine, you need to calm down-”

“Don’t do that, Mom, don’t use the teacher voice with me, I’m not one of students, I’m your son, and you’re not listening to me! I’m telling you this is a bad idea!”

“Blaine, you’re being selfish. This is bigger than you.”

You told them.

“I’m just trying to take care of him! I thought that was what you wanted!”

Kurt tensed up. This was bad. They knew he’d kissed Blaine, and now they wouldn’t want to adopt him, and they’d be angry with Blaine and angry with him and he’d ruined everything, the best thing he’d ever had going for him and he’s messed it all up, and Blaine- Blaine was screaming. He’d never heard him yell like that – at least not around Kurt – and now Blaine squirming-awkwardly-so-he-wouldn’t-get-crumbs-on-the-couch’ Anderson was shouting at the parents he loved and respected. And it was all because of him.

Suddenly he couldn’t breathe. His body felt too heavy, weighed down, like he could hardly move, but the next second he was off. He didn’t know if the door made a sound when he closed it. He felt his legs moving and his heart pounding and saw his breath escaping in misty clouds in front of him as he walked out into the night with an almost-dead phone and less than twenty dollars in his wallet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Andersons worry when Kurt doesn't come home.

Kurt had promised to be home for dinner. He always sent a text if he was running late. He was so pleased to have someone care about his whereabouts, he was always diligent about it.

It was 8:30, and the Andersons were in panic mode.

Blaine had messaged all of the glee club. According to Rachel, he’d left her house hours ago. Julia was driving to school and the Lima Bean and all around town trying to find him. Robert was on the phone to the police.

“I know I shouldn’t call until it’s been 24 hours, but it’s really not like him – he’s our foster son and he’s been through a lot and we’re really worried about him. Good, okay. Yes. Thank you, officer. Thanks. Bye.”

“Well?” Blaine asked as Robert rubbed a weary hand over his face. “What are they going to do?”

“They’re alerting everyone who’s on duty tonight. If he doesn’t show up by the morning, I’ll call them again and they’ll start searching.”

“But-”

“Blaine, that’s good. That’ll only be twelve hours. We’re getting all the special treatment we can, here.”

Blaine nodded, and Robert put a hand on his arm. Officially, they weren’t speaking, but Blaine’s face crumpled and Robert pulled him in for a hug, Blaine grabbing the soft material of his father’s sweater and burying his face in his shoulder.

“What if he’s not okay?”

“I… I don’t know. We just have to hope he is.”

“I miss him, Dad. I know it’s only been a few hours, but- I-”

“I miss him too.”

“Why would he leave?”

“Because he’s overwhelmed.”

Blaine pulled back a little and looked at Robert.

“What?”

“Blaine, we spoke to Kurt about adoption today. We tried to be calm and show him there wasn’t any pressure to decide, but- but I think we might have scared him.”

“That can’t have been it.”

Now it was Robert’s turn to look confused.

“What do you mean?” Blaine sat down. Robert frowned and sat next to him. “Blaine? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

Blaine looked down and scratched at the back of his neck.

“I told him. Mom told me you were thinking about adopting him about a month ago, and I- he’s known for a while. Weeks.”

Robert shook his head for a second. “I don’t get it. That’s not like you, B. Why would you tell him?”

“So I would stop- thinking about him.”

“Oh.”

“I know you and Mom have spoken about it, and honestly until she told me I didn’t even realise, but I- I was trying to make myself see him differently- as my brother.”

Blaine half expected to get yelled at, but his father just looked at him sympathetically and put a hand on his shoulder. Somehow it was worse.

“And did it work?”

Blaine’s tears hadn’t fully subsided from a minute ago, and they started to come back with a new urgency. He shook his head.

“I’m sorry. I tried so hard, I swear, I just- nothing works. When I’m not with him I’m just wondering what he’s doing, and I keep seeing things and thinking ‘hey, I should tell Kurt about this’, and when I am with him, I’m- well, my palms are clammy and my heart goes way too fast, but I’m happy.”

“Oh, Blaine-”

“I know, okay, I know how selfish I’m being.” He sniffed. “I remember how scared and lost he was when he first got here, and how badly he wanted to have a home, and now he’s got one and he’s happy here and I’ve probably ruined it.”

“No, you haven’t.”

“Yes I have.”

“Blaine, you can’t help it if you like him. It doesn’t make you some kind of monster to like a boy. He’s a great kid, and you get on so well with each other- hell, they placed him with us because you’re both gay. We probably should have expected it.”

Blaine let out a sad laugh. “Yeah, that’s what Kurt said.”

“He did? So you’ve talked to him about this?”

Blaine felt his cheeks burning, and his mouth hung open.

“Oh, god. That’s why he’s gone.”

“What is? Come on, if it could help us find him, you’ve got to tell us.”

He so didn’t want to tell him, like it would be betraying Kurt’s trust, but he hated lying to his father and he wanted Kurt to be safe.

“We kissed yesterday. We said that was it, that we weren’t going to- Dad, that’s why he’s gone. It’s my fault.”

“No, Blaine, you- it’s not your fault. I know you like taking care of people and you feel like you have to be responsible for everybody’s wellbeing all the time, but you’re not a bad person for acting on your feelings every once in a while. We probably should have talked to you about this more.”

“But this means you can’t adopt him, and he’ll have to go back into care, and he’ll be miserable just like he was before, and he’ll get lost in the system and it’ll all be because I couldn’t just control myself better. Just because I have some stupid crush.”

“Blaine. Look at me.” Blaine did. “The way you’re talking about him, it really doesn’t sound like a crush. And unless you literally pounced on him, I’m guessing it’s not completely one-sided. Does he like you back?”

Blaine nodded.

“I think so. I- I hope so.”

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say. But honestly, I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t like you. God, you’re a good kid.” Blaine smiled and leaned against his father, who wrapped an arm around him. “He’ll be okay. I know it. We’ll find him. And we’ll figure all of this out. But he’s not going back in the system, and he’s definitely not going to be the same lost, scared boy he was when he first got here. The way he is now, the confidence, the happiness, it’s not just because of having a home. You’ve done that, Blaine. You’ve made him feel like a part of something. He’s so much stronger than he used to be thanks to you. And kiss or no kiss, there’s no way we’re abandoning him.”

“Thanks, Dad. Love you,” he mumbled into Robert’s sweater.

“You too.”

~

Kurt shivered. He took another sip of his coffee. He hadn’t ordered any food; he couldn’t face eating anything and he didn’t want to waste any of the little money he had. He was worried the woman who owned the diner would get annoyed with him, but she just seemed to feel sorry for him, giving him the occasional sad smile. It felt worse.

He had no idea where he was going to go. He felt annoyed with himself for not learning more about Lima, for not knowing the local public transport system inside and out. But even if he did, he would get somewhere and then not be able to afford to stay anywhere.

He knew there was really only one option.

He had to go home.

He knew they would all be worried about him. Especially Blaine. Just the thought of him panicking, of not knowing if he was okay, was enough to make Kurt’s stomach ache with guilt. He couldn’t this to him or to any of them.

He took another gulp of coffee, even though it was almost cold, picked up his bag and made for the door, but he bumped into a man as he tried to leave.

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

“No, no, I wasn’t looking where-” the man looked at him and froze. Kurt frowned. He didn’t think he’d ever met him before. Slightly grimy jeans, a worn flannel shirt, and a baseball cap, admittedly not the most stand-out outfit in Ohio, but the way he was staring at Kurt it was like he’d known him forever. “Oh my god. You’re- you can’t be.”

“Can’t be what? Are there search parties out already?”

“What- no, I- look, this is going to sound really strange, but… is your name Kurt? Kurt Hummel?”

Kurt’s heart started racing. This man didn’t look remotely dangerous, in fact he looked a little scared of Kurt, but-

“How did you know that?”

“I knew your mother. Elizabeth, right?”

“… Yes. Were you a friend of hers?”

The man kept looking at Kurt’s face in disbelief. Kurt shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

“I’m sorry, you just- my name’s Burt. Burt Hummel.” Kurt’s mouth hung open. “I think I’m your father.”


	9. Chapter 9

Blaine’s phone barely rang once before he picked it up.

“Kurt?”

“Hi.”

Julia and Robert were gripping his hands and looking at him urgently. Blaine nodded and their shoulders sagged with relief. Robert let his head droop forward with exhaustion and Julia walked over to wrap her arms around him and kiss his cheek.

“Oh, thank god, where are you? Do you need us to come and get you?”

“No, I’ll be home soon. I’m so sorry for going, but- there’s something I have to do. But I promise I’m okay, and I feel like an idiot, and I’ll be home in an hour. I’m sorry.”

Julia picked up the landline so she could call the police station. Robert gave Blaine’s wrist a squeeze and went to get a glass of wine. Blaine, suddenly feeling exposed, slid off his chair and took his phone upstairs. “You don’t have to be sorry, and you’re not an idiot. You’re… god, we were so scared, Kurt. You’re definitely okay?”

“Definitely.”

“What do you have to do?”

“It’s complicated. But I’m fine. I’ll explain later.”

“Right. Kurt, I…” he squeezed his eyes shut. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

Kurt swallowed. “Thanks. An hour.”

Blaine nodded. “An hour.”

Kurt hung up and handed the phone back to Burt.

“Thank you.”

“Hey, they needed to know you were safe.” Burt had only known about Kurt for a couple of days, and he’d spent most of it terrified for him. He couldn’t let anyone else go through that. “So. What do we do now? I’ve never done this before.”

“Me neither.”

“So, do you like… school?”

Kurt nodded. “It’s good. I had some trouble at first, but I’ve been getting some extra help. Julia’s been really helpful.”

“She’s your foster mom?”

Kurt smiled. It was nice that Burt didn’t try to undermine Kurt’s relationship with the Andersons. He seemed to appreciate everything they’d done for him and understand what it meant.

“Yeah. She’s vice principal at my school. She’s great.”

“She sounds great.” They both looked at their cups (Burt had insisted on buying Kurt a coffee) and nodded along to the music in the diner for a moment. “I guess we should get to know each other or something.”

“Probably. What do you do?”

“I own a tire shop. I’m usually covered in grease or oil or something, but I’ve got good guys working with me, and I get by.”

“Good.”

“How about you? Are you, uh, into sports?”

“Not really.”

“Oh. Got a girlfriend?”

“Not really into those, either.”

Kurt wasn’t sure how he thought Burt was going to react; he hardly looked like an LGBT activist, but he nodded. “Right, sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed. So… a boyfriend or something?”

“Oh, um. Not really.”

Weren’t they supposed to have lots in common? Wasn’t this supposed to be some magical reunion moment?

“Okay. So, what do you like to do?”

“I like reading, I guess, now that I can actually do it. Oh, and singing.” That made Burt smile, and Kurt smiled back. “I’m actually in glee club at school. I’ve only sung once so far, but it’s fun. The other kids in it are nice. Loud, but nice.”

“Your mom used to sing all the time. You must get that from her.”

“So, social services told you about me?”

Burt nodded.

“I swear I had no idea you existed. I would have done something. I would have been there.”

“Oh.” Burt was answering a question Kurt didn’t even know he desperately wanted to ask. They’d both just been existing separately, not knowing they could have had each other the whole time.

“I still think about- I just woke up one day and she’d gone. I still have the note she left.” He took his wallet out of his pocket and unfolded a crumpled, yellowing, easily 17-years-old piece of paper.

Burt,

I’m so sorry. You’ve made me so happy, happier than I ever thought I could be, but I don’t want to force you into anything more. It isn’t fair. You are a good man, Burt Hummel.

All my love,

Elizabeth.

A tiny drop fell onto the page. Kurt sniffed, not even aware he’d been crying, and tried to dab at the paper with his sleeve.

“God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey, hey, it’s fine. You’re probably the only person who misses her as much as I do.”

“You still miss her? After all this time?”

Burt nodded eagerly.

“Every day. I mean, we were just kids, but- she was everything. She was the love of my life.”

Kurt knew that he really meant it. He didn’t look like he was about to break down in tears, but there was definitely a tremor in his voice. He seemed so resigned to the pain, so accepting of the sadness, that Kurt couldn’t help wanting to hug him. He thought being hugged by him was probably nice. He had a bulky frame and a slightly awkward manner, not really sure how to deal with someone like Kurt, but he seemed more than willing to try.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too. I just- I can’t get over how much you look like her.” Kurt was about to apologise again, to try and hide his face in case it upset him, but he kept talking. It’s good that there’s still someone like her around.”

Kurt smiled.

“So what now? What do we do?”

Burt raised his eyebrows and took a breath as if to answer, but he puffed his cheeks out and shrugged.

“I don’t know.”

“Do I come and live with you? Is that what we’re supposed to do?”

“I don’t think there’s any ‘supposed to’ about it. I don’t wanna make you do anything. If you’re happy where you are now…”

“I am.”

“Then we don’t have to change anything. Unless you’d like to.”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I guess we need to know each other better first. You’ve probably been thrown into enough new homes out of the blue; you shouldn’t have to do that again. I don’t want to push you into anything.”

“Thanks.”

They were both so anxious about upsetting each other, letting them down or pushing too hard.

“Can I give you a ride home? They’ll be worried about you.”

“Yes, please.”

Burt scribbled down his phone number, and Kurt put his own into Burt’s phone.

“If you need anything, call me. And if you want to do something, dinner or- whatever, let me know.”

“I work at The Lima Bean on Saturdays. I usually finish around 3. You could maybe meet me there next week?”

Burt nodded. “I’d like that.”

“And we- they have a dog. I walk him sometimes. You could come.”

“Great. Love dogs. And if you have a choir thing I could come to, or… do they still do science fairs?”

Kurt laughed. “They do, but I don’t. But I’d like to see the tire shop some time.”

Burt nodded again. “Definitely.” He wanted to tell Kurt that he’d already bought paint for his spare room, that he’d wanted to be a dad since he could remember, that he’d do whatever it took to make Kurt feel comfortable and at home around him. When he’d imagined having a son he hadn’t quite pictured Kurt, but he seemed so sweet and smart, exactly the kind of kid Elizabeth would have raised. Instead of saying any of this, he just drove him home.

“Do you want me to come in with you? Explain what happened?”

“No, it’s okay. I think I need to talk some stuff through with them.”

Burt nodded. “Sure. See you soon, Kurt.” He stuck a hand out awkwardly, obviously scared to push anything too far. Kurt nodded and shook it with a smile. Burt’s hands were rough and strong. They felt safe.

He climbed out of the truck and walked up to the house. His key barely touched the door before it was flung open and he was pulled into a hug by Robert and Julia. Max almost got squashed underfoot as he tried to nuzzle against Kurt.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled between their cries of ‘we were so worried’ and ‘thank god you’re okay’.

“Kurt, you don’t have to be sorry. As long as you’re here now, and you never do that to us again.” Robert tried to sound jovial, but couldn’t quite pull it off. They both looked exhausted, as did Blaine, who was standing just behind them. He hadn’t joined in the hug. He didn’t look as relieved as the others. He looked miserable.

“Sweetheart, can I get you something to eat? You must be starving.”

“Could I get a glass of water, please?”

“Sure.” Robert went and got it for him, while Julia hugged him again and took him to the living room to sit down while Max made himself dizzy running around everyone’s feet and sniffing at Kurt frantically to make sure he was really there.

“Are you okay? Did you get lost or something? What did you have to do?”

Robert followed them in and handed Kurt the glass. “You don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want to.” Blaine still didn’t speak. “We’ve all had a long day.”

“No, no, it seems so silly now. I got home and I- I heard you fighting, so I just turned around and walked away, and I ended up in this diner. I’m sorry.”

Blaine looked down. He shouldn’t have shouted. He knew Kurt didn’t like it. He stayed quiet.

“Thing is, I bumped into this man, and he looked at me like he knew me, and… he’s my father.”

“What? You met him? Just like that?”

“Yeah. His name’s Burt. Burt Hummel. He lives in Lima.” Julia and Robert nodded. “Why don’t you look surprised?”

“We got a phone call about him while you were gone. That’s actually why we were- it doesn’t matter.” Kurt breathed an internal sigh of relief. They weren’t fighting about the kiss. “So… what was he like?”

“Nice. Really nice. He owns a tire shop. He said I look just like Mom, that’s how he recognised me. She never even told him about me. I think- I think I want to see him again, if that’s okay. Get to know him better. Even if it’s just so he can tell me more about Mom.” He felt like a parent informing a child of their divorce – _I promise that we both still love you very much, and that none of this is your fault…_ \- but they both smiled at him. Julia took his hand.

“That’s great, Kurt.” He tried not to read too much into the absence of any kind of pet name. “Look, I don’t know about all of you but I’m exhausted. Blaine, honey, no offence, but you look as bad as I feel. Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Kurt expected Blaine to scoff at the idea of being given a bed time, but he didn’t fight it. Just said “Okay, Mom,” and added “I’m really glad you’re okay, Kurt,” with an attempt at a smile, and went upstairs. Julia gave Kurt another hug and a kiss on the cheek and followed him. Kurt saw Robert watching Blaine go and noticed him frowning. He sighed heavily.

“So… where’s Libby?”

“Sleepover. We didn’t want to worry her.”

“Are you okay?” Kurt asked.

Robert clicked out of his daze. “Much better now that you’re home. God, this has been… what a day.”

“Sorry.”

“No, Kurt, I don’t mean- you don’t have to apologise. You freaked out and ran away for all of four hours. It’s hardly the worst thing anyone’s ever done. Cooper did much worse when he was your age.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. Constantly sneaking out, bringing girls home, each one the alleged new love of his life. He always had a flair for the dramatic. We were actually relieved when Blaine told us he was gay; much less risk of him getting anybody pregnant.”

Kurt laughed a little, nervous as to where this was going. “Good point.”

Robert took a very slow, deep breath.

“Look, Kurt, I just want to start by saying that you’re not in trouble. For anything.”

“Oh. Okay. Good. Thanks.”

Robert rubbed his hand over his face the same way Blaine did when he was stressed. “I mean, I don’t even know if I should talk to you about this. I don’t know the rules. I don’t even know if there are rules for this. It’s just that- Blaine told me about you two. And before you panic,” _too late_ , “I’m not mad at you or anything, okay?” Kurt nodded. “The thing is, Blaine is… he’s an amazing person. And you’ve heard me talking about his brother, so you know I’m not just saying that because I’m his dad.” Kurt smiled. “Blaine has a tendency to put other people first. All the time. I think it’s because of having foster kids around when he was younger. I mean, I can barely remember him ever doing things just because they made him happy. So I know that- he’s fighting the way he feels for you. You might not realise just how hard he’s fighting, because he thinks he knows best and he thinks what’s best for you is the adoption.”

“… And you don’t think that?”

“Honestly, Kurt, I don’t know. I think you like it here. Am I wrong?”

“No, of course – I love living here.”

“Right. And Kurt, you know you can stay here for as long as you need to, right? We’re still licensed to foster, and we’ll help you as much as you need even after you turn eighteen. A legal document might make certain things easier, but I only want to do it if it’ll actually make you happy.”

“Okay.”

Kurt still wasn’t sure where this was going, and in all honesty, neither was Robert.

“The thing is, we weren’t planning on actually doing anything for at least a couple more months. And now that your- that Burt is around… there’s no reason to rush anything.” Kurt nodded. He knew he didn’t want to be adopted without giving Burt a chance first. At least getting to know him a little better. “As for Blaine. I’ve always just wanted him to be happy. He’s not always good at making that happen. I think what he needs is someone who will put his happiness first when he won’t.”

He took a gulp from the glass of water he had brought in for Kurt, which Kurt hadn’t touched.

“I think you would do that.”

Kurt wanted to scream that he would, that he would do anything to make Blaine happy. He stayed quiet.

“I think you genuinely care about each other. I don’t want to dismiss it just because you’re young. Julia and I weren’t much older than you when we met. But I think you should wait.”

“Okay.”

“I think if you try and figure that out at the same time as stuff with Burt, it could get really overwhelming. I’m not saying this as Blaine’s father, or your… guardian. This is just one person to another. It’s my honest opinion as someone who cares a lot about both of you and just wants you to be okay.” Kurt nodded. “I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. It’s been a really long day, and this is the second heart-to-heart I’ve had this evening. Sorry if it was lousy.”

Kurt shook his head.

“No. I’m glad you- thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he said with a smile. Kurt leaned on him, resting his head on his shoulder for a moment.

“You’re a really good dad.”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got a certificate and everything.”

It was kind of true – they had framed the letters clearing them for fostering and hung them in the office. Kurt laughed. Robert joined in, just baffled by the absurdity of their situation.

“I’m pretty tired. I met my estranged father today.” And I kissed my foster-brother yesterday. “Very busy week for me.”

Robert grinned at him. “Right. I’ll be honest with you, Kurt, as soon as Blaine told us you were safe, I had a very big glass of wine, so I think I should head up too.” He got up, stretching his arms to the sides. “Goodnight, Kurt.”

“Goodnight, Robert.”

They hugged briefly before turning in.

Kurt lay awake, trying to process everything Robert had said. Wait. One huge, life-altering decision at a time. That seemed fair.


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt and Burt liked each other.

But they had nothing in common.

A couple of times Burt dropped by the Lima Bean at the end of Kurt’s shift and bought him a coffee. Kurt decided not to tell him he actually couldn’t bear to drink another coffee after serving it for 6 hours.

Realising that he liked fashion, Burt took Kurt shopping. “I figured I owe you some supplies. About 16 years’ worth.” Kurt tried to argue, but Burt insisted, and he actually was in dire need of more clothes. There was only so much the Andersons could buy for him, and he didn’t like living on hand-me-downs from the other guys at school and what was left in Cooper’s closet. He looked at himself in the mirror of a changing room, in skinny jeans and a fitted shirt, and felt incredible. There had been another version of himself developing in his mind as he’d made friends with the girls and had access to more fashion magazines. He added a scarf to his outfit, and suddenly… there he was. The Kurt he’d wanted to be. He could finally forge his own identity, however superficial it may have seemed, rather than just being given bits of everyone else. 

Burt paid for the basics – jeans, shirts, sweaters, shoes – but Kurt bought himself a few accessories when Burt wasn’t looking. He liked knowing they were really his. He’d never really had his own stuff before.

Neither Burt nor Kurt had realised quite how into fashion Kurt was, and Kurt realised that he may have pushed Burt a little too hard. He suggested they go and get pizza together, which was a little more Burt’s speed. Burt said that if he’d known how expensive Kurt’s tastes were he never would have offered to do this, and as Kurt started to apologise profusely, he burst out laughing. Kurt joined in, and the two of them got some strange looks from surrounding tables.

When Burt dropped him off he came in to meet the Andersons (“Hey, they’ve been looking after my kid for months, I think I owe them a hello.” Burt calling him his kid left him beaming). They were a little wary, but it was protective rather than possessive. There were lots of handshakes and polite smiles, and Kurt reached a new level of awkwardness. It was like he’d cheated on one set of parents with a new one, and now they were meeting.

It wasn’t that the Andersons did anything to make him feel like he’d betrayed them. They were beyond polite, but when Libby was the only one blunt enough to ask if he was going to live with his ‘new dad’ and he told her of course not… it wasn’t entirely true. He had been thinking about it. And Robert and Julia could tell. And Blaine just looked a little sad.

“You okay, Blaine?” he asked when Burt had left and everyone else had gone upstairs.

Blaine smiled. It seemed a little forced, but mostly genuine. He nodded.

“He seems really nice. I’m happy for you.”

“He is. Thanks.”

“It’s quiet here without you.”

“Then Libby’s letting me down.” There was more he wanted to say, how much he missed Blaine, how he still hadn’t stopped thinking about kissing him, how every time he and Burt made progress the first thing he wanted to do was tell Blaine about it.

He remembered Robert’s advice. Wait.

He stepped forward and pulled Blaine into a hug. Blaine relaxed against him, wrapping his arms around his waist. They both noticed how they fitted together. There was an unmistakable feeling of relief.

“I really am happy for you, Kurt, I swear. I… miss you. But I’m glad he’s nice.”

“Thank you, Blaine. You don’t know what that means.”

Robert came downstairs, saw them together, and went straight back up. They stayed holding each other a little longer.

~

He visited Burt once at the tire shop. He decided he’d rather not do it again. His new clothes were so beautiful, and there was just so much oil everywhere. The other guys there were friendly, though. They all shook his hand (he smiled despite the grime) and said they’d heard a lot about him. Kurt smiled at Burt, who looked down and itched his nose, his ears turning a little pink.

Burt invited him to dinner at his house, which was somewhat shambolic. He’s tried to roast a chicken, but it was raw in the middle. He kicked the oven, which made Kurt flinch, and they both apologised.

“Kurt, I didn’t mean to make you jump, I swear-”

“No, I know. It’s fine. I’m not scared of you, I just- I can be a little jumpy. Sudden noises and stuff. Not your fault.”

“No, I should have known. Okay, look, uh- what else would you like to eat? I could order takeout?”

“It’s okay. I bet we can put something together.”

The time helping Julia in the kitchen paid off. He dug around a few cupboards – clearly the cupboards of someone who didn’t often have company – and found pasta, onions, tomatoes and a couple of peppers. “See? I can make a sauce with this, no problem. Do you have any garlic?”

“Oh, I’m not sure. Maybe. Gimme a sec.”

Kurt felt proud of himself for being able to put someone else at ease for once, and as he and Burt cooked dinner together under Kurt’s supervision he really felt like he was contributing to a household. He noticed the lack of pictures around Burt’s place, not like the Andersons’ walls covered in memories. He must have been lonely. It struck him, as it did every so often, how unfair it was that they’d both been so alone for such a long time. He knew his mother was only young, that she probably did what she thought was best, but he wished he could go back now and give that poor, scared girl a hug and tell her it was okay to stay, that Burt loved her, needed her, would have been so much happier with both of them in his life than he was without them. But he didn’t say anything. He stirred the sauce and smiled at Burt and was glad that at least he was here now.

When Burt was drying his hands from washing the dishes, he passed the towel to Kurt and said, “I want to show you something.”

Kurt tilted his head. “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

“Don’t get too excited; you haven’t seen it yet. Come on.”

Kurt put the towel down and followed him as he opened the door to the basement and walked down the stairs. “Burt, if this were a horror movie I’d be screaming at me to get out before I got murdered.”

“Well, that was the plan, but now I know you can cook. I might as well keep you around.”

They’d stopped halfway down the stairs and were looking down on a huge room, probably the biggest in the house, all painted white, with a double mattress on the floor with a blue quilt on top of it.

“Burt, what is this?”

“I know it doesn’t look like much. I was gonna buy more stuff, and paint the walls an actual colour, but I know how particular you are about things, so I figured I’d let you pick everything out.”

“Pick what out?”

“You know, furniture, what colour to paint the walls, where you want everything to go-”

“I’m confused. What’s this for?”

“You. I thought if you ever wanted to stay here, you know, for a night or a weekend or whatever. This is your room.”

Kurt carried on walking down the stairs and into the middle of the room. He turned slowly around to look back up at Burt.

“Are you serious?”

Burt nodded, and was about to keep talking when he was almost knocked over by Kurt running at him and throwing his arms around him.

“You like it then?” he laughed.

“It’s perfect. I love it. Thanks, Dad.”

Burt hugged him back.

“No problem, son.”

The next weekend, they filled Burt’s truck with furniture. It was easier than clothes shopping. They went to flea markets and a few antique shops and got almost everything second hand, but everything was Kurt’s choice, with the odd suggestion from Burt that he happily took. He decided he liked the white, that it felt like a clean slate and a fresh start, and it meant he could have more variety in the small touches.

As much as he loved being with the Andersons, and as hard as they’d worked to make he feel like he fit in, that was all he was doing. They were already a family, and he was just slotting in, adding onto it. This, with Burt, was brand new, and it was just theirs. They spent hours arranging the furniture (the bookshelf took pride of place near the stairs, and he couldn’t wait to fill it with books over time) until Kurt was happy with it. As he thought about spending time in here, about it really being his room, he kept imagining Blaine there with him. There was plenty of room for them to work on choreography for glee club together. There was a space under the window where Blaine could put his keyboard if he ever brought it over. He’d been meaning to ask Blaine to teach him how to play, and he could definitely do that here. He could pull an extra seat up to the desk and they could study together. The purple velvet chaise longue, an absolute steal from a vintage store, would be perfect for reading together. Maybe for forgetting about their books and making out on.

Obviously, Blaine had crept into his thoughts over the last month as he got to know Burt. They still lived in the same house, went to the same school, sang in the same show choir, but they hadn’t really hung out like they used to. Blaine was clearly trying to give Kurt space, to let him bond with Burt, to figure things out for himself, and Kurt didn’t like it, but knew it was for the best right now. Robert was right. He had to wait. But now that he was finally here, Burt’s place feeling more like home than the Andersons’, it felt like time. Time to really let himself think about Blaine again. He was staying at Burt’s tonight for the first time, and they’d already both turned in for the night. The first thing he did was take a picture of the room, lit by a couple of lamps and a string of fairy lights around the head of the bed, and send it to Blaine.

_Kurt: New digs! You like? x_

The reply was almost instant.

_Blaine: It looks great! You guys did all that today? X_

They had decided never to use text speak, just in case it was ever proven that it had a detrimental effect on literacy. Kurt figured he was behind enough as it was, although these days he was around the same level as most of his peers.

_Kurt: Yes! Thought I would be tired, but I’m too exited. You’ll have to come see it some time. X_

_Kurt: Excited*_

_Kurt: X_

Blaine smiled at his phone.

_Blaine: Well, check you out, inviting people to his new place. You seem really settled there. Xx_

_Kurt paused, looking around him and thinking about his father upstairs._

_Kurt: I am. It’s mine, you know? I love all of you guys, but it’s nice making a new home. Xx_

Blaine’s stomach swooped at the word ‘love’, even if it was being applied to his whole family.

_Blaine: Home?_

_Blaine: You want to live there, don’t you? X_

_Blaine: That wasn’t meant to sound like an accusation_

_Blaine: Promise_

_Blaine: It’s good_

_Blaine: It’s so good that you like it there_

Kurt laughed.

_Kurt: It’s okay, Blaine, I know what you meant. And yeah… I think I do._

_Kurt: It’s weird not being down the hall from you, though._

_Kurt: X_

Blaine nuzzled against his pillow a little, fighting a grin even though he was alone in his room.

_Blaine: It is weird. But you’ll be back tomorrow._

_Blaine: Unless this is how you’re telling me your not coming back ever again._

_Kurt: Ah, you got me. And it should have been ‘you’re not coming back ever again’. Just because you’re pining for me, doesn’t mean you can get sloppy. ;)_

_Kurt: I’m kidding._

_Kurt: I’m coming back tomorrow._

_Blaine: You better._

Kurt bit his lip and pulled his comforter over his lap, wiggling a little in the nest of cushions he’d arranged on his bed.

_Kurt: Sooo… looks like we’re definitely not going to be brothers._

Blaine snorted.

_Blaine: Is this going where I think it’s going? Because that might not be the sexiest way to start that conversation._

_Blaine: I mean, I’ll still take it, but. Room for improvement._

He watched the dots appear on his screen as Kurt replied.

It took a while. Stopped and started again. Blaine frowned. He was about to apologise, tell Kurt that he didn’t mean to embarrass him and that he still definitely wanted to have that conversation however it started, but Kurt beat him to it.

_Kurt: Well, there were other words I wanted to use, but they’re kind of important. I’d rather say them to your face. X_

Blaine blinked. That was good.

_Blaine: Oh. I think I’d prefer that too. X_

_Kurt: :)_

_Kurt: You try and start that conversation in a sexier way, then._

Blaine thought for a moment, racking his brain for something clever and funny.

_Blaine: I feel like I’m supposed to stall for a second, but… Kurt, if you move in with your dad, can we be boyfriends? Because you’re probably the best person I’ve ever met and just kissing you that one time, as lovely as it may have been, was nowhere near enough._

_Blaine: How’s that?_

Kurt swallowed and stared for a moment, before kicking his feet out and holding a pillow up to his face so he could scream into it.

_Kurt: You win._

_Kurt: Yes please._

He figured this conversation might go on a little longer. He put his phone down on the bed and ran upstairs to get a glass of water, and bumped into Burt in the hall.

“Woah, sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just wanted a glass of water.”

Burt nodded. “Bathroom. Not that you needed to know that.”

Kurt laughed, his voice higher-pitched than usual. He was practically bouncing on the spot.

“What are you so happy about? If you smile any more, your face might split in half.”

Kurt thought about not saying anything, just saying it was because he was excited to have his own room, which wouldn’t technically be a lie.

But there wasn’t really any reason not to tell him the truth.

“I’ve just, um… been texting someone. A guy.”

“Oh. Must be quite some guy.”

Kurt grinned even more. “He is.”

“So… you wanna talk about it?”

“Um…” he did, he really did, but right now he wanted to go back and keep talking to Blaine.

“How about you get your drink and go back to your phone, and you can fill me in in the morning?”

Kurt let out another nervous laugh.

“You’re such a good dad.”

“I’m a natural. Can I at least know his name?”

Kurt went to get his glass of water, and kept talking to Burt as he walked.

“Well, you know Blaine? Blaine Anderson? You met him for a second. Robert and Julia’s son.”

Burt frowned.

“Is that allowed?”

Kurt sipped his water and shrugged.

“It is now. Night, Dad.”

Burt frowned as Kurt ran back to his room.

There were 26 new messages on his phone. He grinned again.

~

Kurt got up early so he could make pancakes for him and Burt. He chopped up strawberries and soaked them in cinnamon and sugar, then mixed up the batter, and was just pouring the first one into the frying pan when Burt came in.

“Hey, what’s all this?”

“Breakfast. Take a seat. There’s fruit, maple syrup, chocolate syrup, Nutella, but I highly recommend the strawberries. My best invention so far.”

“You invented strawberries?”

“Yes. You’ve missed out on a lot in almost 17 years.”

“So it seems,” he said, sitting down as Kurt passed him a plate with the first pancake on it. “Looks great. Thanks, Kurt.”

“And that’s the first one – traditionally awful, but we’re better than that.”

Burt smiled. Kurt was just about to pour more batter out when Burt stopped him.

“Kurt? Could we have a talk first?”

Kurt’s brow furrowed immediately. He put the jug down and sat across from his father.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, not exactly, it’s just… about last night. About that boy… Blaine.”

Kurt felt too warm suddenly. “Oh, god. Is this the talk? I don’t even live here yet, Dad, can’t it wait?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s something you said. When I asked if it was okay for you two to, you know, date, you said ‘it is now’. What did that mean?”

“Oh. Well, we- it was kind of, not really okay when they were thinking about adopting me. For obvious reasons.”

“Uh-huh. And how did you feel about them adopting you?”

Kurt’s eyes narrowed. “Um, good I guess? That’s kind of what kids like me always want.”

“But then I showed up, and that problem went away, right? For you and him?”

Kurt started shaking his head, slowly at first, but speeding up as he realised what Burt was getting at.

“No, no, no. It’s not like that.”

“You sure? Because it really sounds like you only want to move in here so you can date that kid.”

“He’s not just- no, that’s not it. I swear.”

Burt had planned how he was going to say all of this, but it was all going out of the window. He’d really felt like he and Kurt were getting on, and now he was starting to think it was all for other motives.

“It just seems awfully convenient. Why else would you want to live with me? We have nothing in common. I can’t teach you anything except how to fix a car, which you won’t wanna touch anyway. I have less than ten shirts in the whole world. I’m just some old guy your mom knew once. I should have known there was some other reason for all of it.”

He regretted it as soon as he’d said it. He knew Kurt liked being there.

“That’s not fair.”

“No, look, Kurt, I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry you don’t trust me to make this decision for myself for the right reasons. I guess I’m just some stupid teenager.”

He stood up and went back down to his room. Burt groaned and held his face in his hands. That was not how that was supposed to go. He had an urge to run to his own room and slam the door. He squeezed his fist for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. He reminded himself that he was the dad now. He had to be level-headed and reasonable. Even when he was terrified.

He walked to Kurt’s room and knocked timidly on the door.

“What?” Kurt snapped. Burt’s head lolled forward. He deserved that.

“Can I come in?”

“It’s your house.”

“But it’s your room. I won’t come in if you don’t want me to.”

A pause.

“Okay. Come in.” Burt went in gingerly to see Kurt sitting on his bed, hugging a pillow close to his chest. He was clearly on the verge of tears. He didn’t look up. “I figure locking myself in my room isn’t the best way to prove I’m not a hormonal mess.”

Burt laughed. “I’m sorry, Kurt. I don’t think you’re a mess.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

Burt pulled Kurt’s desk chair over to sit across from him. “Seriously. You’re the smartest kid I’ve ever met. I can barely believe we’re even related.”

“Well… it’s not too late to back out. You don’t have to be my dad if you don’t want to.”

Kurt felt guilty as soon as he saw the hurt in his father’s face, as hard as he tried to hide it.

“I never said that. Kurt, I want to be your dad more than anything. I’ve actually been building up to asking you if you want to move here. Permanently. But sometimes I just- I feel like I’m waiting for it all to go wrong. You’ve probably noticed that before I met you, my life wasn’t exactly… I didn’t have a lot going on. Then suddenly I get this amazing son, who I didn’t even know existed, and you’re already this… this fantastic person. You’re so brave and so strong, and I don’t get how I got so lucky. This whole time I think I was just waiting for a catch. For it all to go away. Which I really don’t want it to.”

Kurt was quiet. He finally looked up to make eye contact with his dad.

“I waited. Whatever it is with Blaine – I waited to figure out stuff with you first. I wouldn’t do all of this just so- I wouldn’t do that to you, Dad. I promise.”

“I know. I mostly know. I shouldn’t have blurted all of that out. I just don’t want to lose you. This is still so new, it’s fragile, and I don’t want to screw it up.”

“You’re not screwing it up. We’re both trying to work it out. That’s what I like about this. You’ve never done the dad thing before, and I’ve barely done the son thing. With Robert and Julia I was always playing catch-up, no matter what they did, but you and I are on an even playing-field. I know we’re kind of making it up as we go, and it’s not going to be perfect, but… it’s ours.”

Burt nodded. “I like that.” Kurt noticed that Burt’s shoulders had lowered significantly as he relaxed, as he believed what Kurt was saying. “So. First fight. Seven out of ten?”

“Not quite. I didn’t slam the door. And there wasn’t the classic ‘no dad, that’s your dream, not mine’ speech. Six and a half.”

They grinned at each other.

“You think we can do this? Be a family?”

“I’d put money on it, if I hadn’t spent it all on a hippopotamus brooch.”

Burt took a deep breath and puffed his cheeks out when he exhaled. Kurt liked it when he did that. That and rubbing his hand over his head, as if he were expecting hair there. It made him look so- human, like he was just as lost as Kurt sometimes, and it was okay.

“What do we do now?”

“Oh. I guess we could hug?”

“Right. Hugs are good.” They stood up and embraced more than a little awkwardly. Burt patted Kurt’s back a couple of times and for some reason Kurt tried to make his breathing less noticeable, as if he was trying to keep it a secret, but after a few seconds when it felt like it was probably time to pull away, the awkwardness faded and they hugged harder. They didn’t speak or joke, just let themselves be vulnerable for a moment and enjoyed the comfort.

Burt cleared his throat.

“I, uh… I love you, kid.”

Kurt sniffed.

“Love you too, Dad.”

They eventually pulled apart, and Burt put his hands on Kurt’s shoulders. “I believe the next pancake was going to be yours. Shall we?” Kurt nodded, and they padded back up to the kitchen, Burt sitting at the table and Kurt resuming his place at the stove.

“Okay, this one is going to be spectacular. Here we go,” he poured the batter into the pan, “yes! Perfection.” He noticed Burt was watching him while he ate. “What? Does it not taste good? I followed the recipe exactly…” he looked down at the cookbook Julia had lent him.

“The food’s fine, Kurt. I was just wondering about you and Blaine.”

Kurt went still for a moment, then fidgeted with the sleeve of his sweater. “What about me and Blaine?”

“How long have you, you know… liked him?”

“Are we really having this conversation now?”

“If I wanna move up to a level six dad I have to embarrass you about who you like. How long?”

Kurt sighed, resigning himself to having this discussion now whether he liked it or not. Truth be told, he kind of liked being able to talk about it.

“I guess a couple of months? Definitely since before I met you. Then I met you and put it all on hold, I promise.”

“I believe you.”

“I think… I think I might have liked him longer than that. Like, since I met him. It just took me a while to realise.”

“You wouldn’t be the first person to take a while. And he likes you too?”

Kurt nodded, feeling heat creeping right to the tips of his ears.

“Yes.” There wasn’t a hint of doubt in his voice. Burt tried to contain his smile in case it looked like he was laughing at Kurt. He wasn’t planning on pushing any further, but Kurt kept talking. “Actually,” Burt paused, halfway through a mouthful of pancake and strawberries to listen, “it was what you said about Mom that- you told me you knew. Even when you were my age, you knew she was the one. That you loved her.”

Burt nodded.

“I did.”

“And I know we’re young, and that anything could happen and we don’t really know what we’re doing, and god, we’ve only kissed a couple of times and that was months ago, but- I think this is something. Something important.”

“You love him.”

“I do.”

“Then I guess we need to figure out when you’re gonna move in here – if you still want to – teenage boyfriends living in the same house sounds like a recipe for a really bad GPA.”

Kurt snorted. He couldn’t bring himself to be offended, especially when Burt was 100% right.

“I definitely still want to.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt tells Julia that he wants to live with Burt, meaning he and Blaine have a little more freedom - and they make the most of it. That's code for 'this chapter gets a bit rude, oops'.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for sexual content.

Kurt hugged Burt goodbye in the car, and as he walked up to the Anderson house he slowed to a halt. He stared up at it, the house that meant so much to him. He smiled. This wasn’t going to be his home for much longer. He wondered if it was still his home at all – but it was where Blaine lived. It was definitely still important. Grinning, he slid his key into the lock and opened the door to see Blaine waiting for him with a smile to match his own.

“Hey,” he said, stepping closer, frowning when he saw Blaine shaking his head slightly, his eyes widening. “You okay?”

“Kurt!” Julia’s voice came from the kitchen. Kurt nodded at Blaine in realisation, and turned to hug her when she rushed at him. He looked at Blaine over his shoulder, trying not to laugh. Good thing he’d warned him; rushing into Blaine’s arms and making out with him in front of his mother might have been awkward. “How was it? Was everything okay? What’s your room like?”

“It was great, really great. Hang on, I’ll show you…”

He flicked through the photos of the room on his phone. He felt Julia’s hands on his shoulders and smiled. “Honey, it looks gorgeous. All your doing, I presume?”

“Pretty much. Burt helped me arrange it all and put some of the furniture together, but yeah. That’s my room.”

His stomach turned as he realised he was going to have to tell her. He would have to explain that he and Burt had talked about it, and that he wanted to move into his house next weekend. He had no idea how to bring it up.

“And you liked staying there? You and Burt got on okay?”

He nodded.

“He’s really nice.”

“So, when do you think you’ll want to move in with him?”

“What?”

Kurt was dumbfounded.

“Well, sweetie, isn’t that what this is building up to? Obviously we’ll be sad to see you go, but I have a feeling we’ll see you around every now and then.” She raised an eyebrow at Blaine. “We might see less of this one, though.” Kurt just stared at her. “God, have I totally sprung this on you? I’m sorry, it’s just that you’ve been talking about how great Burt is for months. You see him all the time, you call him Dad, you- is that not what you want?”

“No, I do, that’s-” he hugged her again. “Thank you, Julia. Thank you so much.” He pulled back and steeled himself. “Is Robert here? Can I tell you together?”

“Oh, he’s grocery shopping. Do you want me to call him?”

“Oh, I don’t want to wait. Julia, if it’s okay with you, I was thinking… maybe next weekend? Or is that too soon? Is there supposed to be some kind of transition phase, or-”

She smiled at him. “There isn’t ‘supposed’ to be anything. You do exactly what you want to do, whatever you feel comfortable with. Oh, this is so exciting!” She hugged him a third time, squeezing even harder, and he closed his eyes to try and stop himself crying. “Okay,” her voice wobbled a little but she was still smiling, “how about a roast for dinner? Or anything you want, up to you.”

Kurt sniffed. “A roast would be great.” He remembered the first night he came to the house and was welcomed by the smell of the same meal. He’d even cooked it for the family once or twice, with some help from Julia and Robert and Blaine.

“Excellent. I’ll call Robert and tell him to buy more stuff.” She paused to look at him, stroking his hair back from his face. He would definitely miss that – those calm, motherly touches. But he knew he wasn’t losing them forever.

She paused to give Blaine’s arm a squeeze before running up the stairs, leaving the two of them alone, aside from the dog sprawled on the sofa. They stood less than a metre apart, smiling at each other.

“So. You have a dad.”

“I do.”

“And you’re going to live with him.”

“I am.”

Blaine seemed stuck somewhere between ecstatic and worried. “And you’re sure?” Kurt nodded. “I mean, it’s really great that you’re getting on so well with him, it’s fantastic, but… I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything, but it’s definitely not because of me, right?”

“Blaine.”

“Because you know you’re still welcome to stay here and we could get past whatever this is.”

“Shut up, Blaine.”

“And… the time you ran away, if it was anything to do with me I’m so sorry-”

“Blaine, please stop talking.”

“If I’ve pushed you at all-”

Kurt put both hands on Blaine’s arms.

“Blaine Devon Anderson.” He looked straight into the eyes of the boy who had done everything he could for him in the last six months. The boy whose brow he could swear had been permanently furrowed for as long as he’d known him. “I know you’re always stressed out about what everyone else is doing and how everyone else is feeling, but let’s say for a minute that you could do whatever you wanted, and actually make yourself happy. What would you do?”

Blaine swallowed and put his hands on Kurt’s waist and stepped a little closer to him.

“I’d kiss you. I’d kiss you, and I’d tell you that I love you. That’s it. That’s all I want.” Kurt grinned “And maybe everything you just said is true, but in my defence I’m only like that because I want you to be happy more than anything, and I would do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.”

Kurt’s eyes stung a little.

“Well, maybe the thing that would make you happy would make me happy too.”

Blaine breathed very slowly and deliberately. Controlled.

“I’m so scared of losing you, Kurt. I don’t want to screw everything up for you.”

“Blaine, my mother was so scared of screwing things up for my dad that I ended up with nobody. My dad and I didn’t have each other for almost seventeen years, and he lost the love of his life, and there’s no way I’m risking that happening to us.”

Blaine closed what was left of the gap between them, pulling Kurt close and kissing him. For what felt like hours they stood almost completely still, holding each other close, lips pressed together, such a simple moment they’d both waited months for. Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine and felt his muscles relax as he surged forward to kiss him harder, putting a hand on his cheek, and Kurt’s mouth opened naturally for him. His hands edged downwards, pressing on the small of his back until their hips locked together. Blaine gasped loudly against Kurt’s lips, and even though it definitely got a reaction from Kurt, it also reminded him of where he was. He pulled back, in spite of all of his instincts.

“Blaine,” he mumbled, his eyes still closed, “your mom could come back any second.”

“Don’t care,” Blaine said as he mouthed at Kurt’s neck, “doesn’t matter, nothing matters, just kissing.”

Kurt gave in and they kept going for a few more seconds, but eventually had to drag himself off. “Blaine, stop.” He did as he was asked, panting a little, his cheeks flushed. “You know I want to keep going, but- not yet.”

Blaine took another slow, deep breath in an attempt to calm himself down, and smirked at Kurt. “Okay. Not while you still live here, I get it.”

Kurt smiled. “Thanks.”

“Good thing I’m so in love with you.”

Kurt’s smile got bigger. “Same here. Otherwise this would just have been another one in my long string of many one-afternoon stands.”

Blaine snorted and linked their hands together. “Knew it. Okay, if we’re not going to fool around, I’m gonna need to sit down, or this could get awkward. Especially if my mom comes back downstairs.”

Kurt giggled and kissed Blaine again, before nudging Max out of the way so he could sit on the sofa. Blaine sat at the other end, and Max looked at each of them in confusion before climbing back up and sitting on them both. They laughed and stroked him, their hands inching towards each other until their fingers intertwined on top of the grey fur.

“You know there are a lot of people who really want this to work, right?”

“Who?”

Your parents, my dad, Libby, Rachel and all the New Directions apparently-”

“Wait, what?”

“Not important. Just know that there are a lot of people ready to get really mad at you if you’re ever mean to me. I could have you seriously injured with one phone call. I’ve been to juvie, Blaine, I know some dangerous people.”

Blaine snorted, tempted to point out the fact that he had actually met Puck. “Good thing I plan on being an exemplary boyfriend then, I guess. The kind you deserve.”

Kurt bit his lip to stop himself from beaming, and gave Blaine’s hand a squeeze. “Sounds good to me. So, do you want to see some more pictures of my room? Or is that boring?”

“I don’t think you could be boring if you tried.”

Kurt grinned and pulled his phone out again. “So, the armoire – I know it looks awful, but I’m going to sand it down to give it a fresher look…”

Blaine listened carefully and watched Kurt’s expression as he spoke. His eyes lit up, so full of excitement and passion. Blaine knew that wherever he lived, whatever happened to him, he would be okay. He would go around lighting up rooms with his smile and seeing things in a different, more beautiful way than anyone else, and doing it all in beautiful clothes and with an extensive vocabulary. And he couldn’t wait to be by his side cheering him on every step of the way.

Julia walked back downstairs to tell them Robert was on his way home, when she saw the two boys on the couch. Of course she saw the tell-tale signs of teenagers who’d just been making out – giddy smiles and that slight flush in their cheeks; god knew she’d seen it enough from Cooper. But what stood out was everything else: the way Blaine’s fingers were softly twisting the tufts of hair at the back of Kurt’s neck, the sparkle in his eyes as he listened to him talking, the lightness in Kurt’s voice as he spoke and laughed.

Blaine leaned over to kiss Kurt on the cheek, and Kurt’s shoulders lifted in excitement for a second before he gave Blaine a brief peck on the lips. They grinned at each other until Max shifted on top of them with a grumble at the lack of attention. Blaine scratched behind his ear, Kurt scratched his belly, and Blaine shifted so he could lean on Kurt’s chest while he ran his hand gently over Max’s back.

Julia smiled as she watched.

She saw two boys in love.

She texted Robert, telling him to steer clear of the living room when he got back. She stifled a giggle at his reply of ‘Oh, sure. Verrrrry sneaky. Fine, if you insist, I’ll come straight to the bedroom instead, you wily minx xxx’

~

Kurt and Blaine didn’t leave each other’s side all week. They were constantly clutching hands and sneaking smiles at each other when they thought nobody was looking, which everyone was. Basically all the time. They didn’t even notice the others smiling at them at school, Rachel and Mercedes whispering to each other about how cute they were, Puck on the verge of weeping every time they were together.

They even started rehearsing duets. But it was really more of an excuse to sing together in Blaine’s room and make out in between song ideas. They made a non-horizontal rule: they didn’t want to get carried away while they were still living under the same roof.

Besides, Kurt already had a lighting scheme arranged in his new room that would be perfect.

“You’re so talented,” Blaine whispered against Kurt’s neck while he pushed him up to the wall, “we could probably do this for Regionals.”

It was Friday evening, and they only had one more night of living together. They were both in ‘packing clothes’ to sort through the few things Kurt had to take with him the next day. At first Blaine had been puzzled by Kurt’s outfit choice – not particularly stylish or form-fitting – but he understood better when Kurt rocked their hips together and he felt a hard shape nudging his hip. It made him shudder and groan a little.

Kurt giggled. “Which song, Blaine? We’ve sung, like, twenty.”

“Don’t care. All of them. Whole set, two hours of us singing while everyone else sways in the back.”

“Sorry, Blaine, I just love you too much to let you get murdered by Rachel Berry.”

Blaine worked his way back up to Kurt’s lips before pausing to look into his eyes. “So romantic. But do you think you would want to do it? We still haven’t finalised the set list. We could definitely do it. Finn and Rachel have been hogging the limelight for long enough.”

Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine again. “I’ll think about it. It’s only in a week. Would we have time?”

“A whole week’s rehearsal? Kurt, with you, that would be an unfair advantage. Plus, we have a tendency to finalize our sets at the last minute and it works out sometimes.” He smirked. “The other teams wouldn’t stand a chance.”

“I thought the other team were your friends?”

“They are. Which is how I know they will be able to deal with it when we thrash them.”

“Mmm, I’ve never seen competitive Blaine before. He’s kinda hot.”

Blaine waggled his eyebrows until Kurt was cackling, then suggested a few songs he’d been thinking about. When Kurt asked why there weren’t any slow ballads, Blaine shrugged.

“I don’t know. There are a lot that would be beautiful, but I’d rather keep those just for us. Let everyone have something to dance to. And if Puck sees us sing something romantic, he’ll be useless for the rest of the set.”

“A very good point.”

“Oh my god. Wait. This is perfect.” He covered Kurt’s eyes for a moment, both of them giggling, while he double clicked the song he wanted.

It wasn’t the usual version of the song; Blaine had bootlegged it from somewhere, but it was stunning. By the time the vocals kicked in after a lengthy intro, Kurt was almost in tears. He slowly pulled Blaine’s hand down from where it was covering his eyes.

“See, this version starts really slow, but then we can make it as fast and fun as we want. Maybe get the others up too.”

“Yes! And Finn could come in on the drums just… then!”

“Oh, he would love that. Don’t you think this would be so right?”

“Totally. Perfect. You’re incredible.”

“We’re incredible. We’re going to blow them all away.”

Kurt squeezed his lips together and allowed himself a brief glance down Blaine’s body.

“Speaking of… blowing people away…”

Blaine snorted. “Really? Song selection is what gets you in the mood?”

“Oh, I just can’t get enough show choir arrangements of pop songs, you know that.”

He kissed Blaine, lowering himself onto Blaine’s lap, straddling his thighs on his desk chair. A shiver ran up Blaine’s spine.

“Kurt, you don’t have to- I’m happy to wait until you move out, you know that.”

Kurt nodded. “I know. Even if you hadn’t told me a hundred times, I’d know anyway, because you are a kind,” he kissed him again, “sweet,” and again, “patient boy. And I promise I will never do anything that we don’t both want to do. But what I want to do right now is lock your door, get on my knees and make you feel incredible – which wouldn’t be horizontal, so technically not breaking the rule, even though it’s our rule anyway, meaning if we want to declare it null and void, we can. But it’ll probably involve you telling me exactly what you want, because I plan on getting really good at this and the only way that’s going to happen is with communication and honesty.”

Blaine was almost dumbstruck. Almost.

“The foundation of all good relationships.”

“And even better blowjobs, hopefully,” Kurt added with a wicked grin.

It all felt so sudden, but also the most obvious thing for both of them. They’d been so patient and done everything so sensibly. They finally didn’t have to tip-toe around or fight anything they were feeling anymore. They could act on their impulses and neither of them felt like waiting anymore.

“God, you’re amazing.”

Kurt planted another smooch on Blaine’s lips before hopping over to the door and locking it, then sinking to the ground. Blaine had to clap a hand over his mouth and use the other one to grip onto Kurt’s hand where it was squeezing his knee. At one point he had to tell him to slow down, be gentler, go a little at a time, and when Kurt hummed in acknowledgement Blaine almost exploded, but he managed to hold out a little longer. That being said, he was still a sixteen year old with a mouth on his dick for the first time.

“Oh my god oh my god Kurt I’m not gonna last much longer you might want to-” he passed Kurt a handful of tissues from his desk, expecting him to pull off, only to feel Kurt swallowing around him. It was so unbearably hot he bent forward, his stomach jolting, cradling Kurt’s head in his hands. Everything whited out for a second, and when his vision returned he saw a very flushed Kurt using the tissue to wipe at his cheek and lips.

“Wow. Blaine, the noises you just made…”

“Seriously? Kurt, that was- I’m- I’m dizzy. Oh god.” He was staring at Kurt in nothing short of wonderment, his entire body limp as his boyfriend climbed into his lap again. He sucked in a sharp breath when Kurt’s jeans brushed against his crotch, but he couldn’t ignore the fact that Kurt was hard. Really hard. And he was cupping Blaine’s face in both hands and draping himself over him and grinding against his thigh.

“Um. I can stop if you want me to, but-”

“Don’t even think about it. May I?”

Kurt laughed breathlessly. Ever the gentleman. He nodded at Blaine, and while he kissed him he felt his hands grasping at his sweatpants, pulling the drawstring and tugging at the waistband until he was wrapping his hand around his erection. Within seconds Kurt pulled his shirt over his head and was rutting against him, mouthing at Blaine’s neck and pushing the hem of his shirt up while Blaine’s free hand pressed firmly on the small of his back so he wouldn’t lose his balance. Despite his eyes starting to roll back, Blaine managed to grab some more tissues to save his shirt as he came, surging forward to push their chests together before slumping against him, panting. He nuzzled at Blaine’s cheek, his eyes falling closed.

“Mmm. That was really… nice.” His lexis was suddenly limited.

“Uh-huh.” Blaine dropped the tissues into the trash and wrapped his arms around Kurt’s waist, stroking slowly over his back. “You’re so beautiful, Kurt. I wanted to tell you for such a long time.”

“S’okay. Now you can tell me forever.”

Blaine smiled and held Kurt a little longer, humming the song they’d chosen into his skin. Kurt eventually hauled himself out of Blaine’s lap and to his feet, and they moved to the bed, keeping their sweats on, Blaine yanking his shirt off so Kurt wouldn’t be the only shirtless one. They told themselves they just didn’t want to wake anyone else up, but really they just didn’t want to be apart. Blaine ran his hands over Kurt’s arms where they were clinging to him, and stroked his hair back where it flopped on his chest, kissing his forehead. Kurt kissed his collarbone in turn.

Blaine smiled. Forever sounded good to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much everyone for sticking with this story! I promise it will be finished soon, but school's just started again so I don't have as much time as I would like. Also, don't worry, you will find out which song it is they're doing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt moves into Burt's house, the New Directions sing at Regionals, and Kurt turns 17.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is very heavily implied sexual activity, but nothing very graphic. This is the last chapter, so a massive thank you to everyone who's stuck with it this long, and I hope you enjoy it!

Kurt could feel something on his face. Something pressing slowly to his cheek, then his jaw, then his neck, then just below his ear, then working back up to his temple. He smiled when he opened his eyes and his suspicions were confirmed: he was being woken up by his boyfriend placing gentle kisses to his skin.

“Morning, babe.”

“Babe?”

Blaine’s cheeks went a little pink. “Too much? Sorry-” he was cut off by Kurt planting a kiss on his lips and looping his arms around his neck, tugging him down until they both almost fell off the bed. “Not too much, then?”

“Nope. Never too much. Babe. Baby. Darling. Sweetheart. My little sugarplum honey bunch ray of sunshine.”

Blaine laughed. “Mmm, love it. I feel so manly.”

“Speaking of manly…” Kurt gave a glance down between them. “Okay, let’s pretend I’m not trying really hard not to make a penis joke. I would never be so crass.”

Blaine gave him a wicked grin and rolled on top of him, lazily rocking their hips together as they kissed. His fingertips were teasing at the back of Kurt’s waistband. “Is this okay?” Kurt nodded and Blaine slipped his hand down past the soft fabric to give Kurt’s ass a squeeze. The whine that it dragged out of Kurt almost made him come right then, but there was a sharp knock on the door. Kurt hid under the duvet out of some bizarre reflex, making Blaine collapse in giggles.

“Morning, boys,” Julia’s voice rang out from the other side of the door. “Don’t worry, Kurt, I know you’re in there. Are you boys being safe?” Kurt buried his face in a pillow.

“What do you want, mother?”

“Oh, just to ruin the mood. Also to get you both up and dressed, because we’re leaving in twenty minutes.”

The boys looked at each other for a moment, both silently calculating if they would have enough time to finish. They simultaneously figured that a frantic rush now just wouldn’t do them justice. Blaine gave Kurt’s ass another squeeze and his lips another kiss before sitting up.

“Come on. I want you out of my house.”

Kurt cackled and hit him with a pillow.

~

The Andersons drove Kurt to his new home on Saturday morning. Burt offered to come and get a load of his stuff, but there wasn’t really enough for two cars. Instead, Kurt gave Burt very strict instructions on how to make brunch for all of them, with extra bacon for Libby and French toast for Robert and Julia.

He was going to do Blaine’s pancakes himself, because he knew just how he liked them.

Burt seemed a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of people in his house. Kurt knew he probably didn’t throw a lot of big brunches or lavish diner parties. He was more of a watch-the-game-with-the-guys-and-a-few-beers kind of guy.

“Burt, is there any more bacon?”

Kurt winked at his father. “I warned you.”

“You did, and there sure is. Here,” he slid a couple more pieces onto Libby’s plate. “How are we all doing? Anybody need more juice or coffee?”

“No, really, we’re fine. Come on Burt, sit down.” Burt smiled a little awkwardly and did as Robert said. “So, Kurt tells me you’re a football fan?”

Burt’s shoulders sagged with relief, grateful to Kurt for preparing everyone so carefully for this morning.

“Sure am. You know, I usually have my buddies over to watch a few games when it’s in season, if you’re interested – as long as you’re not a Bobcats fan.”

Robert pulled a disgusted face. “God, no. Buckeyes all the way, right Blaine?”

“Darn right. Actually, Burt, I’ve been meaning to ask, could you take a look at my car? It’s kind of a heap, but I want to keep it going as long as I can and it’s been making this grinding noise.”

“No problem; just bring it by the shop some time. I could show you some basic stuff if you want? So you can fix it yourself?”

Julia almost spat her coffee out. “I’m sure he’d love that, Burt – after Robert’s attempt at car maintenance 101 was such a roaring success.”

Blaine went bright red. “Shut up.”

“As you long as you know it’s because it’s useful to be able to keep your car going without calling Triple A-”

“Very funny, Mom.”

“And not a subtle hint that we’ve stopped loving you.”

“Alright, guys! I get it! I’m a huge dork; can we move past this please?”

“Sorry, angel. It’s just that we’d known since you were six and you told us you wanted to marry that kid from Hanson.”

“I’ll have you know, ‘that kid’ is called Zac, and if I’d known you were going to mock me like this then maybe I would have eloped with him when I had the chance.”

Robert pinched Blaine’s cheek and Julia tucked his hair behind his ear and cuddled him for a second. “Blaine thought Robert was trying to fix his heathen homosexual ways. But he now knows that we will love him forever, regardless of his sexuality or his awful taste in boybands.”

Blaine was protesting and shrugging him off, but there was a huge smile on his face. Burt glanced at Kurt, a look that said ‘I see why you could have felt out of place with these guys’. They had such a long history built up between them. Burt smiled, knowing that someday he and Kurt would have a least a fraction of that. “I always thought Hanson were pretty good.”

“Thank you, Burt! Someone on my side, finally!”

Kurt was standing at the stove, frying another pancake, watching his family together. Libby was quietly observing the conversation, no doubt rethinking her plan to announce her impending nuptials with Harry Styles, nibbling on a piece of bacon. Burt was occasionally checking that everybody still had enough food and drink in between snippets of conversation. Kurt hoped he knew how lucky he was to be able to get a word in with them. He was proud of how his dad was holding his own among such a tight-knit family. Robert and Julia seemed to totally trust Burt, and Kurt knew how good their judgement was. They still meant so much to him and always would. They had more love to give than anyone Kurt had ever known, apart from Blaine. Blaine, who still said ‘darn’ even after what they’d done last night, who had sat with him patiently for hours helping him to read and write, who’d organised a protection rota with his friends when he thought Kurt was in danger. Blaine who had made him feel like he didn’t have to be alone.

He couldn’t help imagining this in the future. He imagined himself and Blaine hosting their own brunches, with their friends and family and anybody else they deemed worthy of an invitation. The Andersons and Hummels becoming one big family.

He didn’t dare let himself think any further than that – to where they would live, what they would be doing, whether they would bring anyone else into their family. He would probably pass out. For now he made do with a sigh and a smile at Blaine, the one who made him believe that future was actually possible.

‘Bad luck, Zac Hanson,’ he thought. ‘He’s mine now.’

~

The next week they really only saw each other at school and in glee club – and even then they were too wrapped up in arranging their song and choreography to sneak off for a make out session. They settled for sitting as close together as humanly possible whilst still fully dressed, and squeezing in the odd peck on the cheek when they could. They didn’t really feel comfortable showing much affection in public: the school had made a lot of progress, but it was still Ohio.

Kurt spent the evenings hanging out with Burt, watching both of their favourite movies, talking about football and cars and music and books. Burt even asked if Kurt would mind reading to him sometimes. Blaine made an effort to hang out with Libby a little more, as he’d more or less ignored her the last couple of weeks. She was annoyed that he’d made Kurt leave (Blaine tried to explain that that wasn’t what had happened; she was having none of it) but she was glad to have Blaine to herself again, no matter how much she denied it. She didn’t even make fun of him for texting Kurt every other minute.

Friday rolled around alarmingly fast.

Blaine thought he had seen Kurt through every emotion: happy, terrified, heart-broken – but he’d never seen him nervous like this before.

“Blaine Blaine Blaine Blaine I’m gonna screw it up it’s gonna be a disaster we’re all gonna be humiliated and I’m gonna cry-”

Blaine threw both arms around him, which had the bonus of trapping his arms and keeping him still as well as reassuring him. He stretched up to kiss him on the cheek. Kurt groaned in exasperation and leaned into the hug.

“You know you’ve got this. You know you’re more talented than the rest of us put together.”

“I can’t argue with you.”

“I wouldn’t want you to.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know. That’s good. It means you care and you want to do it well. I’d be worried if you weren’t scared. And whatever happens, we’re all going to be up there with you, and I’m sure Rachel will be happy to pick up the slack.”

“Not on my watch.”

Blaine stood up straight, taking Kurt’s face in his hands. “That’s the boy I fell in love with.” He kissed him quickly. “Worst comes to worst, we make out onstage and we’re so hot we win anyway.”

“That’s a pretty good worst case scenario.”

“I know!” He kissed him again, taking his time now, shifting his hands down to Kurt’s waist and pulling him close. “You’re the bravest person I know. You and I are going to kill this.”

“Yes we are. And afterwards I want you to come to my house, and I want you to make love to me.” He blurted it out, and the lights around them flashed on and off to warn them they had to go to their places. Blaine swallowed and blinked at him a couple of times. Kurt’s hands suddenly felt ridiculously clammy and his stomach gave a whole new lurch of nervousness. “God, Blaine, I’m sorry- I thought you wanted to and I thought it would be a good way to celebrate tonight, but if you don’t want to it’s totally fine-” Blaine kissed him one more time.

“I would love to, Kurt.”

He was about to lean in again when there was a sudden rush around them; Quinn took Kurt’s hand and Mercedes took Blaine’s. “Come on, boys, you can get down to business when we’ve got a shiny new trophy!”

~

[*Listen to the song here!*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMTuXnLiZ2k)

It started with strings.

They built steadily, the stage still dark, and when they paused briefly in order for the melody to begin, the stage was lit from behind, silhouetting two boys with a soft glow. They both breathed slowly as the lights came up a little more, bathing the two of them in a soft gold.

They risked a quick smile at each other before Kurt started singing.

_“Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air;  
_I know I can count on you.”__

_Blaine had to close his eyes before the pride swelling in his chest spilled out onto the stage. He took the next line._

__“Sometimes I feel like saying, lord I just don’t care,  
_but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.”__ _

__In the audience, Libby started clapping, and Julia took her hands and shushed her quietly. They were sitting with Robert and Burt, both of whom were beaming and holding back tears. The boys were singing together now._ _

_____“Sometimes it seems the going is just too rough,_  
_and things go wrong no matter what I do;_  
_now and then it seems like life is just too much,  
_but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.”__

_____The rest of the group walked onto the stage behind them. There was a gentle swishing of fabric and one or two thuds of clumsy boys’ feet, but everyone was too transfixed by Kurt and Blaine to care._ _ _ _ _

_________“When food is gone, you are my daily meal,  
_When friends are gone, I know my saviour’s love is real,  
_Your love is real.”___ _ _

_______The boys started getting back up from the others, as there was the softest whisper of ‘you’ve got the love’ coming from the back of the stage, just as they’d planned, in perfect time with their leads._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Their voices were left alone again for a few more lines:_ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Time after time I think, oh lord what’s the use,  
_time after time I think it’s just no good;  
_but sooner or later in life, the things you love you lose,  
_but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.”____ _

__________The New Directions were coming in stronger now, all the boys and girls singing ‘you’ve got the love, you’ve got the love’, and then another, longer repetition, various harmonies coming in until they were just a cacophony of voices working together to create a single sound, holding the final note._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________There was a pause._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Suddenly, there was a spotlight on Finn as he came in with the drums, and then the whole stage was lit, showing the girls’ emerald dresses, and the boys in their suits with ties to match them. They had been in two rows at the back, but now there was a whole different sound – a harp, a guitar, and the drums, and everyone was holding hands and coming forward with huge smiles on their faces._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Mercedes and Rachel hugged Kurt from either side, Mercedes pinching one cheek and Rachel kissing the other. Quinn and Tina danced together, twirling each other around, until Mike scooped them both up into a hug. The band drummer took over from Finn so that he, Sam and Puck could crowd round Blaine, Puck ruffling his hair and freeing a few curls from the gel._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________The whole group sang together, huge smiles and holding each other:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up in the air;  
_I know I can count on you.”__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________The others all kept quiet so they could give the final two lines back to Kurt and Blaine, letting them finish the song they had suggested – both their love letter to one another and Kurt’s thank you to all of them for looking after him, making him feel safe and loved and wanted:_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sometimes I feel like saying, lord I just don’t care,  
_but you’ve got the love I need to see me through.”__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine took Kurt’s hand, and as the lights went down Kurt pulled him into a kiss. Somehow, even in front of all these people, it felt like they were completely alone in the darkness for that moment. They parted before the lights came back up, still holding hands, their lips that tell-tale pink and swollen that meant anyone who was close enough would definitely know they’d had a three-second make out session. Fortunately, the only ones that close were far too busy to notice, basking in the glow of the standing ovation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The families were all cheering, Libby up on Robert’s shoulders so she could see her big brother, and Burt was gripping onto Julia’s arm, pointing at the stage, grinning like an idiot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“That’s my boy! That’s my son up there!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt knew he didn’t exactly have a vast wealth of experience when it came to restaurants, but he was pretty sure Breadstix was tacky. Tonight, though, it felt like the Ritz, as the victorious New Directions filled the place with laughter and chatter and songs. Kurt and Blaine alternated between being the life of the party and centre of attention one minute, given credit for the win thanks to their song selection, to isolating themselves from the others the next. They couldn’t stop praising each other, holding hands, touching each other’s knees when they thought nobody would notice. They all did, of course._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Their families had joined them for the meal, and Burt had treated them to a couple of bottles of champagne, or what passed for champagne in Lima – not enough to do any damage between that many of them, but just enough to make them all feel like they’d just won an Oscar rather than a regional show choir competition trophy. Blaine watched Kurt, tinge of pink in his cheeks and at the tips of his ears, bright laughter ringing through the room, his eyes catching the lights until they sparkled. Mercedes and Rachel were fawning over him again, and as much as he was enjoying the adoration, his hand never let go of Blaine’s._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He loved this boy so much. And he wanted nothing more than to be with him tonight._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “Kurt, I’m going to the bathroom. Should I get any… supplies?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smiled calmly. “Unless you’re some kind of superhuman sex maniac, I should have more than enough at home.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine snorted. “Got it. Love you.” He pressed a kiss to Kurt’s cheek, but Kurt caught him by his tie and kissed him back on the lips. If Blaine hadn’t genuinely needed the bathroom, they probably would have kept going much longer than they should have in public._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When he got back, their table was still full, but a little quieter. The exertion of the evening had finally caught up with them, and they were starting to fade. Kurt caught his eye and shrugged – they had no idea how anybody else could be sleepy right now when they were so very wide awake. Kurt’s eyebrows flashed up for a second and he glanced pointedly towards the door. Blaine nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Mom?” Blaine asked Julia, who was staring dreamily at Robert while Libby slumped against her, half asleep. “If you guys want to take off, I think I’m going to stay at Kurt’s tonight. If that’s alright.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s beautiful, sweetheart. Love is beautiful.” Robert kissed the crown of her head and smiled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s fine, Blaine. Have you got everything you need? You know, protection and stuff?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Damn his liberal, accepting parents._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Yes, father. We’re going to be careful. I promise.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I trust you.” He got to his feet, making sure Julia wouldn’t fall off her chair, and put both hands on Blaine’s shoulders. “You did so well tonight, honey. We’re both really proud of you.” He pulled him into a hug. “You’re the best son a guy could ask for, Blaine. We love you, and we’re so glad you’re happy.” Even though part of him couldn’t get out of there fast enough, he still hugged his father back properly. Robert insisted on giving him money for a cab back to Kurt’s, as Burt was too busy talking to Finn’s mother over their plates of spaghetti to drive them home, but he still got up to say goodbye and congratulations to the boys._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I had no idea you both had such incredible voices! I promise you, Kurt, you did not get that from me. Now, are you sure you don’t mind being home alone? You’ve got your key?” Kurt nodded, and Burt waited until Blaine was out of earshot to add, “Have you got protection? And, uh, lubricant? Not the kind I have at the tire shop – that pamphlet I read said how-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt made a face._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Dad, please, it’s okay. We’ve done our own research. But thanks. Carole seems nice, doesn’t she?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What? I, uh- I guess. Yeah. She’s- wow. God, she’s hilarious and fun and- yeah.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Burt Hummel… do you need me to give you the talk?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I think I can take care of myself, thank you. I’ll probably be a few more hours, at least. I promised Carole I’d take her home, and she said she’s got one of those fancy coffee machines, so- I’ll be late. Midnight at the very earliest.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smiled. “Dad, you know you can have a sleepover at hers if you want. I won’t ground you or anything if you don’t make it home tonight. Just let me know where you are so I know you’re safe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Hilarious.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know. Go get her, champ.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“We’ve got this father-son thing down, haven’t we?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Totally.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They hugged, Burt giving Kurt a hefty slap on the back. “Have a good night, Kurt. That kid really is crazy about you.” Kurt smiled to himself, watching Blaine with his parents over Burt’s shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know. I love him a lot, Dad.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Good. See you tomorrow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt pulled away and nodded._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They climbed into a cab outside, and squeezed each other’s hands, filling the taxi with too much nervous, inane chatter the whole ride home._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt fumbled with the keys when he tried to let him into the house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine almost fell over when he tried to toe his shoes off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They stood quietly at the top of the stairs, the door to the basement open._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt took Blaine’s hand in his. “We can take our time, okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded. “Yeah. Yes.” He swallowed, paused, leaned in to kiss Kurt. He felt Kurt smiling. “Shall we?” Kurt led the way down to his room, and Blaine, so used to being understanding, to looking out for everybody else, to knowing what he was doing at school and at home and onstage, suddenly found himself completely clueless._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt gestured towards the room, between the bed and the chaise longue. “Do you want to sit? Make yourself comfortable. Wherever. Do you want a drink?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’m okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I think there are beers in the fridge – I don’t really like it. And neither do you. So I don’t really know why I asked.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine realised just how dry his mouth was, but he didn’t want to be a burden. “Do you have water?” Idiot. Of course he has water. He lives in a house. With taps._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sure! Water, no problem, just a second.” He ran upstairs, leaving Blaine alone. He looked around the room. He’d only seen it briefly when they’d been over for brunch, but now he could really take in all the details. The pictures dotted around the room - of Burt, of everyone at school, the one he still had of his mother. There was one of the two of them that Artie had snapped in a rehearsal, Blaine behind Kurt, his hands on Kurt’s waist, both of them doubled over laughing at something. He thought it was probably the time Finn had danced so hard he’d simultaneously punched Puck in the stomach and tripped Sam over. Or maybe they had both been scandalised by one of Brittany’s completely unsubtle mentions of her and Santana’s sex life in front of the whole group. Or maybe it was Mike’s hilariously awful attempt at singing a duet with Tina. Whatever they were laughing at, it made him smile now._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He noticed some candles around the room, some black, some white. He thought about getting up and lighting them, but his hands were shaking so much he didn’t trust himself with a naked flame._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt came back down, two glasses of water in his hands, ice clinking as he walked down the stairs. If he was as nervous as Blaine, he was masking it pretty well. He smiled easily as he put the glass on the table in front of the chaise where Blaine was perched, and started lighting candles. He flipped a switch with an extension cord plugged into it, and maybe half a dozen strings of fairy lights came on. He switched off the main lights off and the room was glowing gently with about a hundred tiny dots of light. It was gorgeous._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So,” he sat down next to Blaine, his knee just grazing Blaine’s thigh, and took a sip of water before setting his glass down. “We should probably talk about stuff, right?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded. “Probably. So, um. What do you, uh-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He took a sip of water._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I think I want you to top.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine had to check that the water hadn’t come out of his nose. He spluttered for a second and Kurt put a hand on his back and shuffled closer._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oh- okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I mean, I’d like to try both ways, obviously, but tonight I just- want to feel what it’s like. You know?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Are you sure you want to do this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Something had shifted. Kurt was the one checking up on Blaine and looking out for him and making sure he was okay. He didn’t know if that was totally new or if it had happened gradually, or how he felt about it. It didn’t feel bad. It was nice having someone wanting to take care of him, but it had yanked the rug out from under him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I definitely do.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He wasn’t lying. He wanted to more than anything._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He leaned towards Kurt, determined to have a little agency in what happened, and kissed him. There was definitely a new air between them now. When they’d fooled around before, it had always been spontaneous, and they both knew there were limits. This was all planned and deliberate, and as much as he wanted it to happen, something just felt off. He kissed Kurt anyway and of course it was amazing. He was making out with a boy he was completely in love with, a boy who made him happy beyond belief, and as Kurt gently squeezed at his hip and eased Blaine down onto the couch, a dull ache of discomfort settled low in his stomach._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He tried to figure out what it was. Kurt’s weight on top of him? Good. Kurt’s hands slowly nudging at the hem of his shirt and his fingers edging under it? Very good. The soft moans falling from Kurt’s lips and the hard shape he could feel against his thigh? Positively superb. Although his own body wasn’t quite reciprocating._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Are you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded, trying desperately to get back into the moment as Kurt started to mouth at his jaw. It felt incredible and it should have made him happy, but there was just too much going on in his head, distracting him from the unbelievably sexy boyfriend straddling him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Actually, I think- I’m a little warm.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smirked. “Warm? You’re sizzling.” He grimaced. “Sorry. That was terrible. I could open a window? Or did I just totally miss a not-so-subtle hint that you want to lose a layer?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Both,” Blaine said, maybe pushing the ‘I’m-fine-with-everything’ tone a little too hard. “Not to sound like a creepy guy in a terrible movie, but if you want we could move this over to the bed?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt’s grin didn’t fade. “Good call.” He got up and opened the window, shrugged off his waistcoat and tugged his tie open. They were wearing their performance outfits from earlier, black pants, shirts and vests with emerald ties – nice and simple, Kurt’s choice. Blaine’s vest was still fully buttoned, and his hands wouldn’t work how he wanted them to. He moved over to the bed and perched on the edge, his fingers slipping on a button. As he got more and more frustrated, he felt the mattress dip next to him and Kurt’s hands appeared next to his. “Here, let me.” Blaine sat, on the verge of swooning, while Kurt carefully unfastened each button, their foreheads touching as they caught their breath between kisses._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Everything felt intensely intimate and romantic, and Blaine felt like he was contributing very little to any of it. His tie got caught on his ear as he tried to pull it over his head, so Kurt smiled and loosened it a little more and eased it off. At one point they were both kneeling on the bed, both shirtless, their pants unfastened, and Blaine felt so protected by Kurt, but also so exposed because he enjoyed the protection so much. He tried to get his trousers off properly, and the mattress dipped and he crashed onto his side. Kurt laughed without a hint of mockery, and stood up to step out of his own pants before pulling Blaine’s off for him. He jumped back onto the bed, immediately lying down with Blaine and kissing him again, alleviating any embarrassment he could have felt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________When they were finally completely naked, after a lot more fumbling and whispering and giggling, they both had to stop for a moment to take in the sight of each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Kurt, you-” Blaine ran his hand down Kurt’s side, feeling the coolness of his pale skin in the breeze let in by the window, seeing the slight definition of his muscles under the softness of his stomach, “you’re stunning.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He looked back up to Kurt’s face, and his mouth was hanging open. “Um, Blaine- have you seen yourself?” He kissed him, and started making his way down his jaw and his chest, adoring every inch of toned skin under his lips. “I’m so happy we’re doing this. I’m so lucky to be with you, Blaine. I love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________There were a lot of differences between their bodies: Blaine was compact, round ass and thick thighs and dark features, whereas Kurt was so pale and lithe and long, but one difference stood out more than the others._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt was very hard. Blaine was very… not._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Sorry.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smiled softly. “You don’t have to apologise.” He kissed Blaine and slid his hand around from his hip to his dick, gently wrapping his hand around it, stroking and twisting in a way that any other day would have unravelled him, but now… nothing. “Are you okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded, his eyes screwed shut in concentration. “Uh-huh. Fine. Any second now.” He opened one eye just enough to catch a glimpse of Kurt’s cock, hard and flushed and jutting out in front of him, and the sight of it made Blaine’s mouth water, but it also just made him feel like he was malfunctioning, like he was completely inadequate. Kurt stopped stroking him and touched his hand instead._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Blaine, it’s okay-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“God, I’m so sorry, this is so embarrassing.” Blaine could barely look at Kurt. He shuffled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m sorry, Kurt,” he repeated, “this was supposed to be perfect, and I’m just- all wrong.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Feeling a pang in his chest at Blaine’s voice, the way his shoulders hunched over as if he was ashamed of himself, Kurt scooted up next to him and stroked gently at the small of his back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re not- it doesn’t matter. Just being with you makes this perfect. It’s been a long night, we’ve been so busy winning trophies and I totally sprung this on you. We can just sleep if you want.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“It’s not that you sprung it on me. I knew it was where we were heading anyway, and I want to do it. I want to be with you, be close to you like that, but- I don’t know. I just feel weird.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Then talk to me. Let me help.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine paused and took a deep breath, puffing his cheeks out._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I don’t know what it is. Look, would you be offended if I put my underwear back on? It feels kind of weird being naked right now. If we’re just talking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smiled and nodded. “You can be as clothed as you want. I’ll even level the playing field.” He shuffled to the other side of the bed, picking his briefs up from the floor and slipping them on while Blaine did the same._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine glanced at a burgundy sweater on Kurt’s clothes rail and put a hand on his boyfriend’s knee. “Is it okay if I borrow that?” He pointed to it. “It always looks so comfy when you wear it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I can’t imagine anything cuter.” As Blaine put the too-big sweater on, Kurt wrapped himself up in a long, bottle-green cardigan. They both sat back down on the bed, Kurt’s legs folded in front of him, Blaine with one knee pulled up close to his chest while the other leg dangled from the bed. Kurt cupped Blaine’s cheek for a moment before holding his hand. The collar of the sweater slipped off to the side, exposing his collar bone and most of his shoulder. There was something so vulnerable about it, so innocent that Kurt wished he was wrapped around him instead. He settled for a firm grip on his hand for now, showing him that he was here, that he wasn’t going anywhere._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“We’re okay aren’t we?” Kurt couldn’t help blurting out, despite his determination to let Blaine explain things in his own time._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded without hesitation._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Definitely. I promise I haven’t changed my mind. I’ll never change my mind.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Just-” He was frowning like he used to, like the whole world might fall apart if he lost concentration for a second. “Look, I think I just need to talk through stuff for a minute. It might get rambly and it might not make any sense, but my brain just feels… full. Is that okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt nodded. “Whatever you need.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded back._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“So, thing are different between us now, aren’t they? Like, different to when we first met?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Well, we weren’t dating then. And I’d never touched your dick. And neither of those statements are true now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Excellent points. But there’s something- listen, when you first came to our house, and my mom told me about you – I can’t stop thinking about it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re thinking about your mom? Then I’m kind of glad you weren’t feeling it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine laughed, a soft giggle, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. Kurt moved a little closer, moving his hand to Blaine’s hip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Thanks. Well, when I first met you I kind of promised myself that I was going to look after you. I was so, so determined to make you feel safe and happy. I wanted you to have a real home and a family.” Kurt nodded. He knew how hard Blaine had worked to help him. “Because you seemed so miserable and scared, and I wanted to make you feel better.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And you did.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded. “I know. I mean, I think I know. I know how much happier you are. I’ve seen it for such a long time, how you’ve been growing more confident and happy, more sure of yourself. The Kurt I first met never would have performed to a crowded auditorium or put together a room like this or asked a boy to make love to him.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Especially because the only boy I’ve ever loved was off limits at the time.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine smiled and stroked Kurt’s hand where it was holding his. His eyes were just gazing downwards as he spoke, concentrating hard on their hands tangled together._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“True. But you know what I mean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I do. Sorry, keep going.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Kurt, it’s so amazing. I don’t for one second want you to think that I’m not happy for you and how far you’ve come. It’s incredible. You’re the bravest person I’ve ever met. But I kind of made your happiness my responsibility, and now you’ve got it. You’re there. And I don’t really know what to do with myself. Suddenly it feels like I’m not doing my job, I’m dropping my responsibility, and it’s like I’m failing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Blaine, do you know how – everything I am now is because of you. You trying so hard to make me feel safe and loved, making me feel like part of your life and your family, that’s why I’m so happy now. That’s so far from failing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know that really, but now- now you’re fine, and I don’t know how else I can help you. And that’s all I know how to do. It felt so amazing being able to show you new things and introduce you to new people, and now you’re this completely fantastic person, and- god, maybe I’m just a complete monster of a boyfriend and I’ve got the world’s worst control issues, but now I’m nervous and I’m scared of screwing tonight up, even though I guess that ship’s already sailed, and I just want to be held by you for hours while you tell me everything’s going to be fine, and it feels like cheating. I’m not supposed to need that. I’m supposed to be this helpful supportive person but right now I just want to be looked after and I want to be close to you, and it’s scary because I can’t guide you through any of this because it’s my first time and your first time and I’m just. I’m lost.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt scooted right up to Blaine, pulling him in between his legs and wrapping his arms around him. Blaine buried his face in Kurt’s neck, and sniffed as Kurt kissed his temple. Kurt could feel the tension leaving his muscles as they leaned into each other._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Blaine, I- I don’t know what to say. That’s so not why I’m here. I’m not your responsibility or your job; I’m your boyfriend.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I know.” He let out a tearful giggle, his frame shaking against Kurt, suddenly seeming so small curled up to him. “I feel so silly for even thinking any of this, I know how ridiculous it is.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Then maybe that’s exactly why it’s good that you told me. I know at first I kind of relied on you, but I never expected you to be that for me all the time. You can be vulnerable with me. I want you to be. We’re partners, okay? You can break down crying in front of me or have a screaming fit in front of me or eat a pint of ice cream and listen to Adele with me. You don’t have to be perfect and happy all the time. I’m happier now than I used to be, but there are still going to be times when loud noises make me flinch, or when I get frustrated about school, or when I just really miss my mom, and I know you’re going to be here when that happens. You have to know that I’m going to be here too. I want to make you happy, just like you make me happy. Okay?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine nodded. “Mm-hmm. Very okay.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I love confident, glee club Blaine, and I love this Blaine, wearing my sweater, curled into a ball on my bed. This is a two-way street. If anything, you owe me some tears and I owe you a lot of comfort.” Blaine nodded again and pulled his head up out of the wool of Kurt’s cardigan. It was so soft and it smelled so Kurt-like that he couldn’t help feeling safe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Okay.” He kissed Kurt softly and sweetly, his smile warm and relaxed. “Actually, I’m exhausted. Could we maybe just… lie down? Under the covers?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt grinned. “Yes please.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They kissed again before crawling up to the head of the bed, tugging the quilt down and clumsily climbing in together. They sat for a moment, propping themselves up on their hands, as if they were silently trying to decide how they were going to position themselves, who was going to spoon whom. Kurt rolled his eyes and surged forward to kiss Blaine, pulling him close until they laid down, Blaine’s head on Kurt’s chest, their hands linked, Kurt’s arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, Blaine pressing absent-minded kisses to Kurt’s collarbone._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You were amazing tonight, Kurt. Like, in the competition and with the others and, you know. Just then.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine’s cheek. “Well, when it comes to performing, and dealing with the New Directions, and taking care of someone when they’re having a meltdown, you taught me everything I know. I learned from the best.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine laughed again, his voice a little stronger now. He put his hand on Kurt’s chest and his chin on his hand, smiling up at his boyfriend. “I am so in love with you, Kurt Hummel.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt shrugged and let his gaze drift around the room. “Well, you’re only human. I can sing, I can read, I can decorate a room flawlessly – what else could you ask for?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine shook his head. “Nothing at all.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I love you too. And not just because you’ve helped me and looked after me. I love your smile and your voice and how much you make me laugh. I love how kind you are to your friends and your family. I love how you put everyone else first all the time, and I’m looking forward to years and years of putting you first, if you’ll let me.” Blaine nodded and shuffled up so he could kiss Kurt properly, his hand slipping under the thick fabric Kurt was wrapped up in. Kurt put his hands on Blaine’s waist as Blaine’s weight settled on top of him, and his legs opened naturally to let Blaine lie between them. They kept kissing, Blaine’s hips rolling against his, Kurt giving a high-pitched moan, Blaine kissing marks into the delicate skin on his throat, and after a minute Kurt’s eyes flew open and he let out a surprised squeak. “Oh!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Oops, sorry,” Blaine mumbled as he tried to angle his hips. Kurt put both hands on Blaine’s face and looked at him in total seriousness._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You never, ever have to apologise for that. It’s one of the other things I could definitely fall in love with.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Blaine laughed again, still breathless, his head dropping to lean on Kurt’s chest. “Well, in that case… should we maybe do something about it?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt threw his arms into the air in celebration, giving a “Yaaaayyy!” before letting his arms fall back down to wind around Blaine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________~_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________7_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He wakes up with a shiver. He knows today is supposed to be special, but it doesn’t feel like it. Nobody wakes him up with a cupcake with a candle on it, singing happy birthday and hugging him. He tries to say he doesn’t want to go to school, that he doesn’t feel well, but the adults have a million other things to worry about and there would be nobody to look after him and everyone is just too busy to notice him. They try their best, but they have eight other children in the home to take care of. At least there is a roof over his head and food on the table. Even if that food sometimes get snatched from his plate. Even if the other kids are bigger than him. Even if their eyes are mean and their faces are always full of disgust when they look at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________11_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He’s run away again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He knows he’ll get in trouble and he’ll get moved again, but he couldn’t stay there anymore. He doesn’t like how that older boy looks at him. He gets too close and he talks about things Kurt doesn’t understand, smiling at Kurt in a way that makes him squirm. He doesn’t know what it means, but he hates it anyway._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________14_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt squeezes his eyes shut and blows out the candles on his cake. He wishes, wishes so, so hard, that he could be bigger. That when people at school shoved him, it hurt less, or that he could shove back. He wishes he could get through a day of classes without feeling lost, like he’s an idiot who’s so far behind everyone else that he’ll never catch up. He wishes to have one day feeling safe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________One of the youth workers who runs the home ruffles his hair with a friendly smile, and Kurt forces himself to smile back at him. It’s okay that the other kids have already sloped off back to their rooms. It’s okay that in five minutes he’ll go back to being just another responsibility to the people who only look after him because they have to. Soon enough, he’ll probably go someplace new. Nothing’s ever permanent._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________16_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He hasn’t felt safe in a long time, but now it’s worse. He’s scared all the time. He can’t remember the last time his skin wasn’t splotched with bruises. Most days it hurts to do anything. He hasn’t been at this school long, but he’s never been able to leave and go straight to the home. There’s always someone waiting for him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt’s never wanted to hurt anybody, but just for today he wants to avoid anybody else hurting him. He checks that nobody can see him before taking a knife from the drawer and putting it in his bag._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He ends his sixteenth birthday in a cell._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________17_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Usually Blaine isn’t allowed to sleep over on school nights, but Burt has made an exception for today. He wanted to make up for years of missed birthdays, and although part of him would have liked it to start off just the two of them, he knew Kurt would just be itching to get out of the door and see his boyfriend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt wakes up smiling._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He’s curled up into Blaine’s side, and he keeps his eyes closed for a minute, just enjoying the soft skin of Blaine’s chest against his cheek, the warmth of the sun on his face and shoulders. He nuzzles into Blaine before finally opening his eyes and looking up at his boyfriend, who is already awake and looking right back at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Happy birthday, beautiful.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt grins. “How long have you been awake?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“A while.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Were you watching me sleep?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Maybe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Weirdo. Good morning.” He reaches up to kiss Blaine, and it seems that Blaine has been awake long enough to do some planning. He kisses all over his body, caressing every inch until his skin feels electric, and even though they should be getting dressed, they’re together on a Friday morning and they’re naked and they’re teenagers, and when Blaine’s hands are on him, their lips pressed together, their legs intertwined, Kurt doesn’t care that they might be a little late for class. He kisses Blaine hard when he comes, panting into his mouth, legs wrapped around his waist, and he feels like he could fly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They shower together, more to save time than anything else. They both think about fooling around, but when Blaine slips in the tub they decide it’s not such a good idea. They settle for washing each other’s hair, massaging suds into each other’s skin, pressing gentle kisses to each other’s lips, and Kurt thinks it might be even more romantic than sex. Maybe._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They go upstairs for breakfast, Blaine still blushing furiously under Burt’s gaze. It’s been weeks, and they get on well, but Blaine is still eager to prove himself, to show Burt that his intentions are honourable. Burt knows they are. He knows, just as everyone who sees them knows, that it would take a hurricane to pull these two apart. That doesn’t mean it’s not entertaining to see him go bright red at the raise of an eyebrow. Burt gives them both a hug before they leave, and their hands are all but glued together the whole walk to school._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________It’s nothing like it used to be. Santana pins a huge, magenta badge to his chest that says ‘17 TODAY!’ and a few years ago he would have been terrified to be so visible. Now other kids in the hall wish him a happy birthday, even if they don’t know him. The rest of the glee club gives him hugs and presents, his favourite being a framed picture of all of them. They tie balloons to his bag and sing to him obnoxiously in the cafeteria at lunchtime. Even Dave gives him a card. He doesn’t feel scared. He actually enjoys the attention, the love being thrown at him, and the smiles everywhere he looks. And he knows it’s nothing to do with his past or feeling sorry for him. They really love him, and he loves them back. That’s not to say he objects when Blaine drags him behind the bleachers towards the end of lunch so they can have some time to themselves. It’s not like that morning: it’s fast and hot and Blaine whispers in Kurt’s ear, “I’ve already made you come once today; just sixteen orgasms to go. Happy birthday, baby.” Kurt’s mouth falls open, scandalised but so turned on, and Blaine kisses him roughly before sinking to his knees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They go to their afternoon classes with messy hair and trembling legs and enormous smiles on their faces._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________They take a slightly different route home. Blaine refuses to answer when Kurt asks why, and there’s a twinkle in his eye that tells Kurt he’s got a plan. They end up in the forest, bluebells all around their ankles, sunlight drifting through the canopy of leaves, leaving green spots on the ground._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“What are you up to, Blaine Anderson?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Wait and see, Kurt Hummel, you beautiful old man.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Kurt nudges him. “Very funny.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“No, no, I love a man with a cane; very distinguished.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re three months younger than me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“And yet you still manage to keep up with me. It’s admirable.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“You’re the meanest boyfriend ever-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He stops. They’ve come to a clearing, and it’s been decorated beautifully. There are lights hanging from the trees, flowers all around, blankets on the floor and a huge hamper with salad and sandwiches and fruit and more food than the two of them would ever be able to eat. “Blaine, how- how did you do this?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“Okay, in the name of total honesty, this wasn’t me.” He pulls a card out of his satchel and hands it to Kurt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________Kurt,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Happy Birthday! Nobody deserves a perfect day more than you do. Enjoy it!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________Julia, Robert and Libby_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________XXX_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________P.S. Don’t let Blaine give us all the credit for this. It was totally his idea._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Kurt looks at Blaine._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Well, they had to do all the set-up, because I was at school, and my mom helped me prepare all the food, and Libby helped choose the flowers, and I’ve had dad on vigilant weather watch all week, and-” Kurt kisses him and holds him and stares all around him in amazement, his eyes stinging with tears._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I love it. I love you, you wonderful boy.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They kiss and talk and eat, and Blaine pulls a small container out of the hamper and a packet out of his satchel. He tells Kurt to close his eyes, and when he opens them there’s a chocolate cake in front of him, with seventeen candles on it, and Blaine is smiling at him, his face so open and warm, the candles making his skin glow as the sunlight fades._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Happy birthday, Kurt. Make a wish.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________As hard as he tries, Kurt just can’t think of anything that would ever make him happier than he is right now. He takes Blaine’s hand in his, closes his eyes and blows out the candles, wishing as hard as he can to keep feeling like this forever._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Blaine scrapes a blob of ganache from the cake with his finger and smears it on Kurt’s cheek before leaning in to kiss it off, and as the sun sets they feed each other cake and Blaine carries on fulfilling the promise he’d made at lunchtime. They make it up to seven, shaking and sweaty, before they have to rest, wrapped up in blankets and clinging to each other and beaming._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“As much as I love this birthday idea, if you do this every year I think I might actually die on my thirtieth.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“It’s already dark and we have ten more to go. I like a challenge, but I think this might have been a little ambitious. If we do this every year I think our dicks might fall off.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Kurt laughs, laying his head on Blaine’s shoulder and looking up at the stars, holding onto the arm wrapped around him. “And we definitely don’t want that.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No, we don’t.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Blaine… do you think we’ll still be dating when we’re thirty?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Kurt goes still. He looks at Blaine, and his face must be full of panic because Blaine immediately starts gabbling. “No, no, Kurt, I didn’t mean- please don’t look so worried. I meant that by the time we’re thirty I think- I hope we’ll be married.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Kurt’s stomach goes from cold and tied up in knots to warm and explosive and full of butterflies. “Really? You think about that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Blaine smiled shyly. “All the time. I know it’s probably- I mean, high schoolers who say they’re going to be together forever are usually just naïve or whatever, but. We’re different, aren’t we?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Kurt nodded. “I don’t know about everybody else. Don’t forget, until I met you I didn’t really have much contact with other teenagers that didn’t wind up with me getting thrown into a dumpster,” Blaine cupped Kurt’s face and kissed his forehead, “no, it’s fine, I just- I never really paid much attention to the romantic relationships going on around me. I never thought any of it applied to me anyway. And now- Blaine, this has never felt like some fleeting thing. I love you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I love you too.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Married, huh?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“If you’ll have me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I could be persuaded. What else do you think about?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’d like us to live in a city. At least for a few years. Maybe New York.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Oh, yes. Perfect. So much theatre and fashion and- wait, doesn’t Rachel want to go to New York?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Afraid so. But she’ll get super famous super quickly, then she can just hook us up with free tickets to shows.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Good thinking.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And we’ll have a tiny apartment somewhere, and we’ll be broke but it’ll be so cute.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Can we have a bathtub?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes please. And we’ll both be busy with school and work, but we’ll get to come home to each other, and we’ll take care of each other when things are difficult or stressful. It’ll be scary, but we’ll get through it. I know you’re still not sure if you want to pursue fashion or performing, but we can figure it out.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“How about you?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Music. I want to study music and performing arts, and then I want to teach. Like a less creepy but equally well-meaning Mr Schue.” Kurt laughs. “I don’t know, maybe middle school.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And I can make all the costumes for the school shows.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“If you’re not too in-demand by then. It might be fashion week. You’ll be up to your eyeballs in catwalks and red carpets and gorgeous models-”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“None of them as gorgeous as you.” He kisses him again. “What about… family?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Just… yes?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes. Family. Lots of family. As soon as we have the space and the money.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Babies?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Sure. Babies, kids, teenagers… New York’s bound to have kids who need homes, and we could give them so much love they wouldn’t even know what to do with it.” Kurt smiles. He’s wondered about this so many times, if they’ll have children, if they’ll go down the surrogacy route or adoption, and he’s so glad Blaine wants to adopt. He so badly wants to do for some children what the Andersons did for him. That’s how he found his family, and it’s how he wants to make it bigger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“That sounds perfect.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I’m glad you think so. God, you would be such a hot dad.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Damn right. And the idea of you with a baby? Wow.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They pause for a moment, looking up at the sky, just enjoying being held and close._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Kurt?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“I really don’t want this to end, but… I’m freezing.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Me too. Let’s go home.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They get dressed and pack up the picnic things, still occasionally stopping to hug under the guise of warming each other up. They leave the bulk of the supplies in the clearing for Blaine’s parents to pick up in the morning, but take the cake with them so they can eat some more when they get home and give some to Burt. They walk home, each wrapped in a blanket, because it suddenly really has got cold, hands gripping each other tightly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Do you ever think about how this all could have been different? How I almost became an Anderson?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Blaine grinned at Kurt. “I still have every intention of you becoming an Anderson.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Anderson-Hummel.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Deal.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They don’t quite make it to 17. But they know they have plenty of time to make up the rest._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if people were really rooting for a huge sex scene or flash forwards to their future. I feel like I've explained enough of what their life together will be like in this AU. If people are really desperate for it I have some ideas for snippets of their future which I might add at some point, but for now this feels finished to me. This is the last big fic I'm ever going to write, because I've been doing it for about four years and I'm tired and busy, but it's one of the most valuable things I've done and I don't regret a second of it. Thanks for being a lovely albeit ridiculous fandom.


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